


Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy

by cavloe12 (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, M/M, i honestly don't remember
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cavloe12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have always fought over this and that; but what happens to Harry when Draco stops fighting back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Undetermined Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I started writing this story about two years ago on ff.net and am only now putting it on this site. I will update one chapter a week and hopefully by the time that I reach the last chapter (12) that I posted on ff.net I will have the next chapter finished. The writing is on hiatus until I can get the files recovered from my old computer (which died while I was writing chapter 13) but I may still write it but I'm not quite sure it will be as good as the one on my old computer??? Or it could be better I don't know. Anyway, please enjoy my story!

Disclaimers: First of all, Harry Potter is not mine and I claim no ownership of it what so ever. I make no profit off of this and do not intend to ever use it to claim such means.

This was bad. Draco knew that, but why did he keep telling himself that? After his last encounter with Potter at Madam Malkins, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about the boy. Only half an hour ago had he realised why.

He was in love with Harry Potter.

Gah. It even sounded stupid and wrong in his head. Draco shook his head, trying to get rid of the ridiculous thoughts. Finally, he arrived at Platform 9 ¾. He was just about to board the train when Harry Bloody Potter and his usual group of friends arrived. Draco could feel his heart rate doubling in speed. Before he could hide, Potter spotted him and glared at him. Draco tried his best to glare back at him before quickly fleeing onto the train.

********

Harry watched the boy run onto the train, wondering why Malfoy had not come over and taunted him about something or another. Well, whatever, he thought. Malfoy would be Malfoy. Still, there was something not quite right about how Malfoy had glared at him. It seemed... half-hearted.

Maybe it was because his cronies had not been with him? But Malfoy had given him a very vile verbal beating last time they had been alone.

Malfoy was up to something. He always was and this time it must be horrible. He gave up a chance to make fun of Harry, for Merlin's sake! Not that Harry liked having Malfoy taunting him and sneering at him, mind you, but it was just very odd that he hadn't. Malfoy must be up to something before the school year had even started, Harry thought angrily, and he was determined to find out what it was. End of story. With renewed determination, he climbed the train behind his friends.

********

Draco knew he had prefect duties, but he just couldn't convince himself to go fulfill them. He was lying down in his seat across from Theo and Blaise, who were playing a game of chess. Pansy was at the Prefects meeting and rounding up all the first years, even though she had seemed a bit out of it before. Now, more than usual, she just kind of drifted off into space and stared at some random spot on the wall. He guessed she was tired, she had told him she had had a very busy summer and hadn't gotten too much sleep. Crabbe and Goyle were pigging at the snack trolley, as usual. Draco wrinkled his nose disdainfully at the thought of them.

He slowly drifted off to sleep and the first thing that popped into his head were bright, green eyes and messy black hair. Thankfully, before he could get much into that dream, the door opened, making Draco start. Pansy stood by the entrance. Draco sat up and Pansy came and sat beside him quietly. Before Draco could say anything, Pansy looked blankly out the window, face mulish and thoughtful.

"So, anything interesting happen while on duty?" Blaise asked, looking up from his game. They had been playing for over an hour now.

"Nothing, really. The first years were as bratty as usual. The meeting was boring as hell. We were just discussing about new restrictions and regulations for the new term, and Granger were blabbing on about how to take on and use your positions properly. She needs to cool down; she acts like she owns everything," Pansy answered, and her tone remained flat.

"Hmph." Blaise replied in agreement.

Draco lay back on her lap and she absently stroked his hair. It was true that they had dated for part of their fourth year, but then she had realised he was gay. She had known about it for two weeks before telling him that he was gay and breaking up with him. Afterward, they had of course remained close friends, and now they shared an amazing secret he wanted no one -especially Potter-, to know about.

They did lots of things together, like pick out the hottest guys in magazines and such. Draco was really glad that he had such a close friend at times like this. He would probably tell her about this Potter... thing.

Draco was glad that Pansy still did things that were slightly intimate like this with him. That way he could take his mind off Potter and focus on the calming hand threading through his hair, and as long as he didn't imagine it was Potter's hand... Aww, fuck. There it was, again. Draco squinted, shutting his mind with his eyes half-closed. He finally got rid of Potter's image of him carding his hair, pulling it before he lowered his face and—no. It was gone in almost an instant. This was easier than Draco thought it would. Slowly, he drifted off into dreamland. Hopefully to dream about something that wasn't Potter.

********

Harry had met up with Luna and Neville on the way to a seat, and now he was staring blankly out the window as Luna read the Quibbler and Neville played with some odd plant that Harry had failed to listen to the explanation of.

Hermione and Ron came into the cabin a few seconds later.

"Hey, guess what? Malfoy's not doing prefect duty. We saw him sitting in his compartment with the other Slytherins." Ron said excitedly.

Harry sat up immediately, curious. Malfoy was not one to give away a chance to show off the powers he has over others as prefect, seeing how badly he had wanted it last year.

"What did he do when he saw you?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, actually. He was asleep." Ron said indifferently. "Not usual for him, is it? I mean, why wasn't he out bullying first years? Isn't that a hobby of his?"

"Dunno," Harry said, but his mind was jumping with possibilities of what Malfoy was doing as he formulated a theory. The fact that Malfoy was sleeping meant he was tired. If he was, then he must've been doing a lot this summer. Had big plans, Harry thought darkly. Also, the fact that he was not out bullying younger students meant he had larger things on his mind, right? So since Malfoy alwaysgoteverythinghewanted, he must've just moved onto "bigger pastures", meaning that... that was it! Malfoy was a Death Eater. Harry just knew it.

As he was thinking through his theory, Hermione tried to answer Ron's question, "Maybe he misses the glory of the Inquisitorial Squad. Maybe being a prefect just isn't enough for him."

"I don't think so," said Harry. "I think he's a—"but Harry never got to finish his sentence as the door opened and a small girl handed him and Neville each a small letter.

********

"Hmm, I'll tell you when we get to—" Draco stopped mid-sentence as the door to the compartment opened, revealing a small 5th-year Ravenclaw they all knew to be Andrew Aberson, and Draco was glad that he had moved his head from Pansy's lap.

Everyone was looking at the boy, except for Theo who was plotting his next move against Blaise.

"I was told to give this to a, uh," the boy looked down at the letter quickly. "Blaise Zabini," he said the last part rather quickly.

"Thank you for remembering my name," Blaise said with an endearingly sarcastic voice and a pleasant smile. The boy blushed andhanded the letter to him.

"You-you're welcome," he said quickly, bowing slightly and slammed the door shut with a clang.

"Well, that was loud," Theo commented, looking up from the chessboard. "Oh, and checkmate," he said, smirking slyly. Blaise cursed darkly.

"What will this make, your third galleon?" Blaise said spitefully and Theo nodded vigorously, smirking at him.

"Yes, on this train trip. But you still owe me sixteen from over the years." Theo smiled teasingly. "One for each year you've been alive."

"I am never betting with you again." Blaise said, handing Theo a galleon.

"If you say so. By the way, what's in that letter?" They all looked from Blaise to the letter in his hands. He then held it up and read it aloud.

"Dear Blaise,

I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C.

Sincerely,

Professor, H.E.F. Slughorn." Blaise recited placidly.

"Interesting. I've heard of him somewhere before..." Draco started, but trailed off, trying to think of where he'd heard the name before.

"Yeah, my dad said he used to teach Potions back in his day. Wonder why he's back?" Theo ventured.

"Don't know. But if he's the Potion's teacher, then that must mean—"

"Professor Snape is Defence Against the Dark Arts professor!" Draco exclaimed excitedly, getting up from his seat a bit.

"Yeah, he probably will, won't he?" Blaise said, a smilelifting uphis face. Soon the same smile was on all their faces.

"We should go congratulate him after the feast," Pansy said brightly, coming out of her trance at the moment.

"Yeah, well I should probably go see what Slughorn wants." Blaise said and walked out of the compartment.


	2. Train Stalking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... hi. Sorry.

Harry followed Zabini back to his compartment under his invisibility cloak, slowly moving through the hallway. When they got inside the compartment, Harry put his foot in the door so. Zabini tried to close the door, and when he couldn't he cursed and tried slamming the door multiple times, crushing Harry's foot each time.

"Damn Door! Why won't it close!" Zabini shouted.

Suddenly, Harry pushed the door open a, hard. Zabini fell back on Goyle and Nott (who didn't seem to mind) and while Goyle and Zabini were snarling at each other Harry jumped on Zabini's seat and onto the luggage rack above their seats.

He hoped no one had looked his way because he was sure his feet had shown if not only for a second. He thought he saw Malfoy noticed him, but Harry decided he hadn't. A few moments later, Zabini got back in his seat.

"Almost back at Hogwarts..." Parkinson said, trailing off as she turned from staring at Goyle and Zabini to stare out the window.

"Yeah, can't wait," Malfoy said sarcastically.

"You don't want to go?" Theo asked, looking up from his notebook.

"Hmph, have I ever?" Malfoy retorted.

"Well, yes," Parkinson countered, turning away from the window with a look of surprise, and a slight sadness spread over her features.

"True, but this year it's different. This year school isn't much of an escape. Isn't that why you all like school?" Malfoy explained and all nodded—even Harry, before he could stop himself.

"Camilla gets more annoying each year." Nott said, rolling his eyes and taking out a chessboard. Camilla was his seven year old sister. He eyed Zabini in challenge and Zabini reluctantly nodded.

"Mother's latest boy-toy is a total drunk. Not an angry drunk, either, he keeps on trying to get us to sing..." Zabini said and shuddered at the memory.

Draco was freaking out. He was trying desperately to think of something to say back to Blaise, but he couldn't. He just spluttered out. Potter was right above them. Well, he wasn't completely sure it was Potter, but Potter was the only person he knew who had had an invisibility cloak.

He was telling the truth when he said that school wouldn't be an escape this year. Potter would be there too. All year long, he would have to be around him. It was extremely hopeful to think he wouldn't have to deal with him; it was Potter for crying out loud. Draco would probably try to ignore him and that would only make Potter more curious. Not in a good way, either.

The cabin got quiet as Pansy stared out the window, and Theo and Blaise played yet another game of chess while Draco contemplated Potter, who was right above them. Why am I so nervous? It's just Potter. I've had to deal with him for the past five years, what's wrong with one more? He asked himself. It'sthe fact that you're in love with him ,of course. The other part of him said. Shut up. He told that side. Merlin, he was already going mad, even though he had only known of this problem for two hours. How the hell was he going to last the whole year? It just seemed impossible.

Speaking of impossible, how was he supposed to go back to sleep? He was dreadfully tired, but since Potter was above him, he couldn't chance it. The first thing he would do after the feast was sleep. Forget the Beginning-of-the-year party Slytherin house had every year, he would rather sleep. And he would be alone, free to have whatever dreams he liked. Sleep was amazing.

The train stopped and his friends started to get up and take their bags. He heard a small gasp as Goyle got his bag. Potter was there. Definitely.

"You coming?" Pansy asked, looking back at him from the door.

"You go along, I need to check on something," he said.

He was now alone in the compartment with what he thought to be Potter. Alone. There were so many possibilities...

No. He had to keep up the act of hatred.

"Petrificus Totalus!" He yelled, pointing his wand at where he thought Potter was. Fortunately, Potter came toppling down. When he saw Potter in front of him on the floor in front of him, he tried very hard not to drop to his knees and comfort the boy from the pain of falling. Instead, he put a look of indifference on his face.

"I knew it," he said coolly. "I saw that white flash after Blaise came back and then I heard you gasp when Goyle's trunk hit you," And I must say, it was a lovely noise. He added to himself as he took in Potter from head to trainers. Potter was a very handsome boy. Draco could kind of understand why he... No. He shook his head and stared at Potter's trainers with longing. Not for the feet, of course, just Potter in general.

"You didn't hear anything important, Potter. But since you're here..."He picked up his foot, about to smash it into Potter's face, but then he put it down again. He shook his head and smiled ruefully at himself. I can't do it. This is going to be a hard year... He left Potter there on the ground, threw his cloak on him, frozen and invisible, and he even felt bad about doing that.

Harry lay on the floor, paralyzed and confused. Malfoy had had the perfect chance to hurt him, but he hadn't taken it. What could possibly be so bad that he would stop hurting Harry to fulfill it? He couldn't think of anything. Soon, the train would leave and Harry would still be here. Hopefully someone would come in and just step on him. He kind of wanted that now. Malfoy hadn't and he felt... unsatisfied. Why? He had no idea.

Soon, he heard the last footsteps leave the train and tried desperately to move with no progress. Ron and Hermione would think he had gotten off the train without them, and by the time they figured out that he hadn't, he would be almost back to London. He tried to make a sound, even a grunt would be good at this point, but it didn't work. Damn, Malfoy was good at curses.

He then felt his invisibility cloak fly off him and a voice above him say, "Wotcher, Harry."

He saw a flash of red light before his body unfroze and he immediately sat up. Tonks was above him, holding his cloak which she had pulled off of him.

"We'd better get out of here quickly," she said, as the train began to move out of the station. "Come on, we'll jump."

He followed her hurriedly down the corridor to the nearest exit and they jumped onto the platform just in time. He staggered as he hit the ground and watched the train pick up speed and turn the corner. He had made it. Stupid Malfoy.

Draco felt horrid. But he also felt ecstatic. Potter wasn't going to be at school this year. How was he supposed to feel? Probably happy, but he wasn't. He secretly hoped someone had found him.

Twenty minutes later, just after the Sorting had finished—that twenty minutes had been filled with worry on Draco's part—Potter walked into the Great Hall with Snape who had been sent to retrieve him from the gate. Draco was so relieved. Potter glared scathingly at him. He hung his head so that the boy couldn't see his face.

Draco didn't listen as the headmaster made his announcements and when the feast came around, he just kind of stared at his plate.

"Uh, is something wrong with you two?" Theo asked, looking at them with a raised brow. Draco's head popped up and he looked at Pansy beside him who had been doing the same thing as he had.

"No, nothing's wrong with me, at least; just really tired." To demonstrate his point, Draco lay his head on Pansy's shoulder. She shoved him off instantly and swatted him on the head. He chuckled a bit, despite of himself.

"I'm fine. As long as he'll keep his paws off," Pansy said, irritated.

"Aww, Pans, I'm hurt. I wouldn't want to lay my paws on you anyway." He smiled at her affectionately.

"Oh, shove off, ya ponce," she said quietly, smirking at Draco. Draco put his hands up in defence of his innocence and Pansy laughed. Draco had been wrong. He quite enjoyed being back at school, for now.

Harry was surprised, again. It seems Malfoy hadn't told his friends yet about the incident yet, because none of them had paid him even one ounce of notice since his late entrance.

Maybe Malfoy had changed? No, Malfoy would never change; he was just waiting for the right timing. He would always be an evil git who loved to tortured Harry at every opportunity. But he hadn't, not this time. Gods, Malfoy was confusing. He watched him got up and left, and he wondered where he was going. Was he running away? Possibly. From what? Harry didn't know.

Draco was really tired. It hadn't been a lie when he told his friends about it earlier. He said good night to his friends and hurried off to his quarters. He got to the entrance, said the password and hurried through the common room so as to not be seen by any other early-comers. When he got up to his room he went in and flopped down. He put closing and silencing charms on his curtains so he could dream about whatever the hell he wanted, and not letting other Slytherins know about it.

Soon after he fell asleep and dreamt of the same black hair and green eyes he had earlier on the train. Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you like it? I hope you do! But if you don't, that's okay too. Just tell me! Reviews are golden! Pansy: do you think that's a good kind of character for her? I have a lot planned for her so it's important. I know I haven't really gotten much of the Gryffindors yet, but they'll be in the next few chapters a bunch.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh... more things happen. That will literally be the summary for every chapter guys, there's nothing else to say.

Draco woke up the next morning from a small poke in the side of his neck. He opened his eyes to see a wide-eyed, but very serious Pansy Parkinson standing over him. The first thing he thought was: when did I open my curtains?He had closed his curtains with the highest form of spells he could create that would allow him to have any... odd dreams about Potter-which he was bound to have because he almost had two on the train yesterday-without his roommates noticing.

The second thing he thought was: Why is Pansy here?She looked at him sternly as he got up and rounded his feet to the side of the bed, and Pansy sat next to him.

"So?" She asked.

"So, what?" He asked back and she rolled her eyes.

"So, yesterday I asked if everything was all right because you didn't look well, and you said you'd tell me when we got to Hogwarts, or at least you almost said that. When we got here, you didn't tell me anything. I feel left out," she pouted, and now it was him who rolled his eyes.

"Right," then he thought about it; how was he supposed to tell her he fancied Harry Potter? He couldn't just up and say it, but he had to. Pansy hated feeling 'left out', of course, in this situation, and he was the only one who was 'left in,' so to speak. "Well, you see I..." he trailed off, shook his head at how stupid he was being and looked around the room to double check that none of his roommates were still there. They seemed to be all down at breakfast.

"Well, this may come as a bit of a shock, but..."

"Out with it! At this rate we're going to miss breakfast!" she snapped at him and he glared back at her.

"I'm getting to it! All right! Fine! I like Potter, I fancy him, he's the 'apple of my eye', one could say," she looked at him with an amused smiled, then started laughing. "What! I demand to know what on earth is so funny about that! It's traumatic, terrible, horrid, a tremendous weight!" He defended. She stopped laughing, looked over at his horrified face and Draco could tell she was desperately holding back another fit of laughter.

"Nothing, nothing, darling. Just that I've known that since fourth year! You've always been a bit obsessed with him, haven't you?" He shrugged., iIt was mostly true. He did tend to go a little overboard with Potter at times. "And in fourth year, your attitude towards him just kind of changed. You never really show your emotions like that with anyone except me and Potter. He's the reason I knew you were gay," she said, looking innocently up at him. Draco didn't fall for that 'innocent' crap, he never did. Right now he just wanted to hit the girl with a pillow, but he refrained.

"You could have told me," he said bitterly.

"And missed you trying to figure it out for yourself? Never. Plus, you're so obstinate that you wouldn't have believed me any way." He shrugged again, that was probably true. Especially the first part, though it made the pillow idea sound great. The 'don't tell anyone' part was implied, Draco knew she craved his confidence in her and was not one to spoil it.

"Now, are you ready to go to breakfast? Show everyone the new and proud, Potter-loving you?" This time he did hit her with the pillow. She just laughed. He didn't get women sometimes, so it was a good thing that he was gay.

MPPMMPPMMPPMMPPM

When Malfoy walked into breakfast that morning, he looked much too happy for a person who was supposed to be a Death Eater—and was not Bellatrix?—or at least Harry thought so. To most, Malfoy would appear to them as his same stoic appearance, but Harry saw the smallest details that showed how happy he really was, or how sad, or how much of whatever emotion he was feeling. Today his eyes were the colour of iron -which actually meant he was happy, not sad- because his sclera's were a bright white to accent his eyes and make them look darker. His posture was completely straight and upright, making him a quarter of an inch taller. There were no sign of bags around his eyes, which meant he had gotten a good night's sleep, and lastly, he wasn't smiling, per se, but his lips seemed slightly higher on his face.

He didn't know why he could do that, but he could also do it to Ron and Hermione—to see if either of them was lying to him for some reason—so he guessed it wasn't that bad that he could tell with Malfoy too. A hand waved in front of his face and he realised he had spaced out.

"Uh, mate, you were staring. At Malfoy," Ron said and Harry shook his head to regain control of his senses, and looked back to where he had been looking and found Parkinson looking back at him with a quirked eyebrow, sitting right beside Malfoy.

"Oh, I was, wasn't I," he said placidly.

"You all right? You seemed kind of off since the feast yesterday," Ron contemplated.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," he said slightly sarcastically. He was fine, but after he figured out what Malfoy was planning and why he looked so damn happy, he didn't think he was quite fine. "Hey, do you think Malfoy looks a bit, I don't know, happy? I mean, he really can't be up to any good..." Harry trailed off as Hermione gave him a warning glare.

"No, he looks the same as always. And you always assume he's up to no good when he isn't, why would he be now? And, speaking of the feast, you never told us why you were late yesterday," Hermione inquired.

"Well..."

MPPMMPPMMPPM

"Hey, Potter was staring at you," Pansy said to him, nudging him in the side.

"I know, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I cared. Plus, I'm going to try to ignore him as much as possible, and see what happens. He can't like me, not at all, not ever. It's just another one of those things I'll just have to get over. He's probably just wondering what I'm up to and whether I'm a Death Eater yet," at this Draco scoffed. "He stares at me like that a lot, but just because I like him now does not mean his stares mean anything different, remember?, He doesn't know that," Draco explained.

"Oh, well, why are you ignoring him?" She asked as, most likely, a pre-courser to other, harder questions.

"Because I'm afraid I'll be too weak to hide my true feelings towards him if I don't," he said flatly. He had already prepared the answered in his head[,] because he knew Pansy would ask it.

"Why do you think he'll never like you?" She was so predictable sometimes.

"Because, Pans, he's Potter. Why would Potter fancy me?" He snapped at her.

"If that's so true, then why would you fancy Potter?" She asked with a tilted head, unaffected by Draco's snapping. He must admit, though he had prepared for many questions he thought Pansy would ask him, he didn't think this would be one of them. He thought about it, and he found he was stumped. Why does he fancy Potter? He didn't know. He supposed Potter was decent enough to look at, especially if you took off the glasses and dressed him up a bit. The picture he created in his head was actually... damn, it was kind of hot, not hot like Draco, of course, but then he pictured him smiling, which he had seen him do to his friends multiple times and, Merlin, Potter was gorgeous, still not enough like Draco, but still. He now found himself wanting Potter to smile at him like that, though it would never happen. He was staring at Potter and he knew he didn't have a hateful expression on his face, but it didn't matter because Potter was arguing with his friends, and he knew that Pansy was smirking at him, but he just couldn't find it in him to care. Potter smiling at him, that's all that mattered, making Potter smile...

He was shaken out of his dreamy reverie by Pansy, just in time, because McGonagall was coming around and passing out schedules to all the students[,] and if she saw him staring at Potter like that... that just couldn't happen. She handed him a schedule and he just shrugged as thanks. Just because he likes Potter, he's not going to like any other Gryffindor.

When McGonagall passed, Pansy leaned into his ear and whispered, "And when are you going to admit that you love him, not just "like" him? The way you stared at him was definitely more than "like" or "fancy", that was full blown "love." How do you produce such feelings in one day?" Pansy asked, studying him closely. Draco smiled ruefully.

"I think I've been trying to deny it for a while, but my mind decided that I liked him," Pansy looked at him incredulously." All right, loved him and then it decided to tell me that I had feelings for him that weren't hatred..." he looked at Potter as he got his schedule and he scowled at Draco, got up from his table and left. "I think I'd like it better knowing that he hates me," he smiled dejectedly. Pansy hated seeing Draco like this, after all she had done for him.

"No you wouldn't, you're too good for that. Just go on like normal, but I think that ignoring him would be good, until you get this all sorted out, not just these bits and pieces you have. Come on, let's go get our stuff for the first class, we have the exact same schedules! I told you I was just as smart as you!" She said, smiling widely at him and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"You are not. You hate Astronomy! And Ancient Runes!" Draco exclaimed. "And I am soooo much smarter than you." He said and leered at her.

"Okay, then. We at least have our next class together. I know that," she was getting pretty annoyed with Draco at this point, but that only made her want to stay with him longer. She attached herself to his arm.

"Pansy, we have a free period right now and I'd like you to please get off my arm so I may go to my 'thinking spot,'. You know the place, so please come get me when it's time for the next class. I'm going to take you up on your advice," he said and waved as he turned to walk to his thinking spot. He didn't notice the tears swelling in Pansy's eyes as he left her.

"See you later... Draco..." she said and quickly waved back before running to the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry on the seventh floor.

MPPMMPPMMPMMPPM

Harry marched madly to his first class. Hermione and Ron (but mainly Hermione) had not taken what happened on the train well, even if Harry had not been hurt. "You shouldn't have been there in the first place," "Yeah, mate, quit stalking Malfoy" and the most annoying had been, "You should have told us right away!" He had a valid reason for not telling them right away! He wanted to see how Malfoy felt about Harry not being sent back to London. But did they listen to him? No, telling your friends should always come first, even when you're trying to find out if a potential Death Eater possibly wants to kill them! He just wanted to be alone right now, and he could, it was a free period and he could do whatever he pleased and he wanted to go flying, so that is exactly what he did.

When he got to the flying pitch, though, there were already a good amount of people there, including Ron, who were practicing for Quidditch trials. Instead, he decided to go to the Black Lake to throw some stones or something. He got there and picked up a stone, before noticing a shock of white-blonde hair near an old gnarled oak. Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hi! I just had to leave it there, sorry! If i wrote anymore it'd turn out to be 6,000 words instead of 2,000. Not that some of you wouldn't like that, but I really wanted to get this finished today. So, how do you like Pansy now? I made her a bit bi-polar, but I kind of think that's how she'd be normally, and she's Draco's confidant! I like that they'd still be close even after they break up. Do you think I made Harry a little too angsty? I'm going to use that later, so I'm starting now. These past two chapters have been mostly Draco, but the next two will be mostly Harry. Please review! I appreciate those who have and hope for more ^_^.


	4. Liquids: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings and Disclaimers: See first chapter

Harry marched over to where he saw Malfoy's head and stood right above him. He looked like he was in a good mood, smiling slightly and his eyes dazed off staring into the distance; and for a second, Harry hated that he was going to ruin it. But, no. Malfoy was the one who got him into this mess with his friends and he was going to make him pay.

Malfoy didn't seem to notice him and so he coughed, trying to get his attention. Malfoy looked up and gasped a bit, then he looked down at his shoes. Harry huffed. Malfoy wasn't supposed to be like that, he was supposed to stand up and sneer at Harry, call him some names and possibly try to start a fight. Not just ignore him. He went around the oak to stand in front of him.

"Malfoy," he said. Malfoy just kept looking at his shoes.

"What do you want, Potter?" The blonde shot at him, obviously mad that Harry had interrupted him, but it didn't have nearly as much venom as it normally had and Harry was a bit taken aback by that in itself. Sure, Malfoy would ignore him at times, but whenever he stopped he would always have the same intensity.

"What are you up to, Malfoy?" He spat, narrowing his eyes.

"Moi? Up to something? What on earth are you talking about, Potter?" He asked with a slightly amused tone.

"You're ignoring me."

"So? I ignore you sometimes. Get over it." Malfoy drawled, now looking at Harry with a slightly annoyed look.

"You're always up to something when you ignore me. I'm just protecting myself. So, what are you up to?" Harry inquired, and the blonde and he got up and glared at him for a second before walking over to the beach of the lake.

"I am not up to anything in particular right now. Just thinking about... things. You wouldn't care. Just go away, Potter. Leave me alone." Malfoy said, picked up a stone and threw it in the lake. This was not going the way Harry had planned it. For one second he got really, really angry, for some reason, at the other boy. He walked up to him quickly and pushed him into the lake. The boy fell and flopped around in the water for a few moments before coming to his senses and standing up. He glared at Harry as if trying to drill holes into his eyes, but there was also sadness in his eyes. It was slight, and most people, yet again, wouldn't be able to see it, but Harry could and it was most definitely there. He wondered why. Why was Malfoy sad? He should be angry, not sad. Oh, and yes, he was angry, it was written all over his face, but there should be only anger, not including what was there now.

"What the fuck Potter! What was that... you know what? I don't want to know. See you later, Potter." And with that he ran off in a heaping mess, dripping and wet and fuming. Harry regretted what he did, not very much, but a small voice in the back of his head told him that he was the stupidest person in the world, in that moment.  
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Draco was almost in tears, he really shouldn't cry, he knew that, but at this point he didn't care. He knew Potter didn't like him, and he tried to not care about that, but it was a lost cause; but that Potter would hate him so much and be so suspicious of him when he was just trying to be alone. That was all he wanted, really, and Potter just didn't believe him, at all. At this point he was at the entrance to the castle and he found his secret place in the castle where he could hide away from the world and cry. He sat there for hours just crying, he missed classes but he didn't care. He didn't cry about Potter, specifically, he just cried because it felt good.

He heard a bell ring and knew that it was the end of the day. He was dry and his hair was a mess and his face was red from all the crying and he knew he should get up and go to the study hall or something, but he didn't want to. He would just stay here in his alcove until someone found him. He had missed a whole day of class. On the first day, too. Not the best way to start a year, but it was better than fighting with Potter, at least to him.  
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Harry had not seen Malfoy once for the rest of the day. He wondered if he had caused that. Half of him was happy that he had not seen the git again and the other half was worried that he might have hurt Malfoy. There were many rocks at the bottom of the lake and Malfoy could have gotten cut by one. He shook his head. What was he thinking? Worried that Malfoy had cut himself? What did he care, he had made Malfoy hurt much worse before, why was he suddenly so worried about the boy? He wasn't worried, that was it, just wondering, just curious.

It wasn't long before Neville—whom he had chosen to sit with because he was still mad at Hermione and Ron—noticed his odd behavior (e.g. spacing out and staring at random points at the wall).

"Um, Harry, you okay?" Harry, who had spaced out again turned to look at Neville, a bit startled.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, just thinking..." he trailed off and looked at his desk.

"About what?" Neville inquired. He sure was a curious one, wasn't he?

"Just... things that don't need to be thought about; so, what's Snape talking about now?" He was in D.A, and now that Snape was the subject's professor, it seemed a much... darker class. Not that it wasn't dark in the beginning—being Defence against the Dark Arts and all—but Snape had made it seem somehow darker. Was it because of the creepy dark classroom with pictures of tortured people all around? Or was it the way Snape seemed to worship the Dark Arts? Probably both. Neville tried his hardest to describe what Snape had been explaining, but Neville had never been the best at explaining, and Harry couldn't very well ask Snape and admit he hadn't been listening.

Instead he asked Hermione, who was sitting behind him.

"Do you apologise for not telling us about the incident with Malfoy?" She asked on the note that they passed so that they wouldn't get caught speaking. Harry rolled his eyes. Of course Hermione would want him to apologise before giving him notes.

"Yes. I apologise, I'm sorry, Hermione, for not telling you right away about Malfoy trying to stop me from coming to Hogwarts and trying to figure out whether or not he was going to kill us this year." He wrote and gave the note back to Hermione. He could feel her eyes roll and he couldn't help but suppress a laugh, he had made it say that just so he could annoy her because he was still a bit mad at them.

"Here," she said and handed him her notes.

"Thanks," he murmured back.  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Malfoy wasn't at dinner either, and Harry just hoped that he didn't hear the boy's name being tossed about the Great Hall tomorrow morning saying he did something absolutely terrible, because it was positively strange that the boy not be at dinner, and his friends knew this also. They were all looking around and Parkinson was staring at the doorway, looking a bit wary.

Of course, Harry didn't care about the boy's well-being, not one bit, just as Malfoy didn't care about him. It was tradition, and he might not abide by many traditions, but this was one he stuck to. If Malfoy wasn't here, he could be doing nothing else but planning, but why he would do it alone? Oh, whatever. Harry just knew that there would be some serious Malfoy stalking tonight.  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
It was the evening now and Harry was getting his cloak and map to go out. He had barely gotten past Hermione, who was making sure everyone was doing their homework and studying, even if it was the first day. Of course, Harry was sneaking out on the first day, but this was important.

He snuck out the door to the common room relatively unnoticed as Hermione was helping Neville with his D.A.D.A. homework, and Dean, Seamus, and Ron were huddled together trying to find a way out. He was under his invisibility cloak, so it was easy to get past the rest of the people in the room. Harry opened the map as soon as he got out of the common room and saw that Malfoy was in a small alcove that was almost completely closed off from the hall, and Harry had had no idea that it had been there before now. He guessed it was Malfoy's hiding spot, but what was he doing there now, though? Harry walked down the hall to the first floor, which was where Malfoy was and he found the alcove which was near the entrance Harry had come in after pushing Malfoy into the lake. He saw a small opening to the side and when he entered it—still wearing his cloak—he saw that it was larger than it appeared on the map, and it had a window. Sitting on the ledge of the window was Malfoy, and Harry could kind of see his face, and there was—Harry could barely believe this—a tear streaking down his face and a slight smile as Malfoy stared up at the full moon.

Harry was quite shocked by this... emotional Malfoy. Malfoy didn't have emotions, besides hatred, anger and envy. At least, he didn't have such strong emotions as the ones he was showing right now. Not that Harry knew of, but he knew now, as he took a few minutes to look at Malfoy, and then the blonde chuckled shortly and Harry took a tentative step back. Did Malfoy know he was here? It would only get worse from there; but Malfoy kept staring out the window, with a larger smile now, probably thinking about a happy memory.

This was weird. Malfoy was so unguarded and Harry was standing right there without the boy's knowledge and watching him, just watching him be, just be. Harry didn't know Malfoy could just be; but, apparently he could and Harry was witness to it. Suddenly, Harry got scared. This was Malfoy's moment, and he wasn't supposed to be here, it was too personal, too intimate. This was not Harry's place. He ran quickly out and he could feel Malfoy's eyes look up at his invisible form as he left, worried and scared that someone had seen his fragility. Harry was angry with himself for staying that long; he should have just left when he saw the boy's tears.  
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Harry Potter had been there, and he had seen him in his worst state. Malfoy was disheartened, but also somewhat relieved, now that Potter knew that he just wanted to be alone. He would leave him alone, hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of Chapter 4. Do you like Harry's reaction, or do you think he should have been more like the bathroom scene in the actual HBP, because I don't think that would work with my plot. Do you think Harry will leave him alone now? Or just pester him more. We'll see! Anyway, how do you like it? Please give me your opinion and review! I yearn to know what you are thinking.


	5. Liquids: Part Two

The next day, Malfoy came in looking extremely happy. Malfoy, happy, when he had been so upset last night? This time, though, it was visible to anyone who looked at him. He was smiling. It was kind of disturbing, seeing Malfoy smile like that. Harry wondered if it was fake. He decided it was. Malfoy could never really smile like that. Malfoy looked at him for a second and then smiled at him. Harry could practically hear Ron's mouth drop beside him. When Nott and Zabini came in, however, they looked extremely nervous. They sat next to Malfoy, told him and Pansy something and Malfoy got up and they got up too. He looked like he was going to yell at them, but then he smiled widely and hugged them. Hugged them! What on earth was wrong with him today?  
All eyes were now on Malfoy as he, Parkinson and the two boys he had just hugged—all who were just as surprised by Malfoy's action as everyone else, if not more—walked merrily out of the Great Hall, breakfasts unfinished.  
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Draco was miserable, absolutely miserable. Potter had seen him in his most vulnerable state, and not even Pansy had seen him like that. When he walked into breakfast that morning, though, he acted like he was the happiest man in the world.  
Why? He had no clue, but he did. Maybe having a nice long cry makes you feel like this? He thought, his mood even confused him, as he saw it did to everyone else. He took a one second glance at Potter and found Potter looking right back at him with a slightly bewildered expression, and he just smiled at him slightly. The Weasel's mouth dropped and Draco sat down next to Pansy.  
Theo and Blaise then came in, sitting on either side of Draco and Pansy. They looked extremely nervous and Draco wondered why. He bet he was just about to find out.  
"Err, Pansy, Draco? We have something to tell you..." Theo trailed off and looked at Blaise for guidance.  
"Would you like Crabbe and Goyle to hear too?" Draco asked, because it was a legitimate question.  
"Oh, right. Um, Crabbe can listen to our news, but not Goyle." Theo said, giving Goyle a glare.  
"Anyway, Goyle you can listen too, but don't react," Blaise said. Theo snorted.  
"Like he'd have a reaction to anything," Theo said and Goyle glared at him.  
"Anyway, what we were trying to say is..."  
"We are, eh, um, you see..."  
"We are together. As lovers."  
"Partners."  
"Boyfriends."  
"Whatever you want to call it, really." Theo finished, blushing. They had said it so quietly; Draco doubted if Crabbe and Goyle had heard it, much less anyone else, which is probably what they were going for.  
"All right, as long as you don't make too much noise," Draco replied with a congenial smile. Blaise looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Theo looked at his feet.  
"Really? You're okay with it?" Blaise asked. Pansy narrowed her eyes at him.  
"O-" before she could say anything else, Draco put a finger on her lips, grabbed Blaise's hand and stood him up. He then got Theo up, stood them together and gave them a large bear hug. He slid off of them and stood in front of them, holding each of their outside hands so they made a small circle. He looked at their shocked faces and he couldn't help but laughed. What was wrong with him today? He wondered himself. When he stopped laughing, Pansy tugged the back of his shirt and he turned around to look at her confused face.  
"Um, don't you have something to tell them as well?" Merlin, that's why he was so happy today, he was going to tell more people about his secret! He could tell them and they wouldn't judge, right? They couldn't, not even if they wanted to. For some reason, he felt telling others about it will took some of the burden off of his shoulders. He pulled Pansy up and pulled the three of them along after him out of the Great Hall. He knew all eyes were on him, but right now, he really didn't care, as long as a pair of those eyes belonged to Harry Potter.  
When he got them all to a safe and slightly secluded alcove he pulled them all in and looked at them, smiling. They all had very confused looks.  
"What is it, Dray?" Theo asked, looking slightly worried.  
"Are you and Pansy getting back together?" Blaise guessed.  
"No, not even close." He said, backing away from Pansy a bit.  
"Are you a Death Eater?" Theo guessed. Draco looked at him sharply.  
"No! Why would I be so happy about that? Plus, it'd be more possible for the opposite..." Draco said and trailed off, thinking about the possibility of that happening.  
"You're going to join the Order!" Theo almost shouted in a high-pitch, almost squealing voice.  
"NO! No. No, no, no, no, no. My father would disown me if I did that, and I must say, I kind of like having a place to stay during the summer," Draco ended with an amused tone and looked at Theo with an appeasing smile. Theo sighed with relief.  
"Good, I was thinking I would never get to see you again."  
"So what's up with you then?" Blaise asked.  
"Well, since you guys are such horrible guessers, I guess I'll have to tell you..." he gave a long pause for dramatic effect. "I'm gay as well," he said quickly. Much more quietly, he added, "And in love with Harry Potter."  
"Good luck with that. Like seriously, good luck." Blaise said after a few seconds of standing in slight shock.  
"That's not helpful, Blaise! I, personally, hope the odds are ever in your favor. I always have, and I always will. I will support you through the end of this. Even if it is... him you are in love with. What are you going to do about it anyway?" Theo asked. He had always supported Draco and Draco was glad he still did.  
"Well, let's talk about that later. I don't feel comfortable talking about this here." Draco said and they left the alcove and went back to the Great Hall.  
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Harry had heard all of it. Well, not all of it, he still didn't know who Malfoy was gay for, but he now had two important pieces of information. One, Malfoy wasn't a Death Eater; and two, Malfoy was gay. The first one, for some reason, he was very relieved of and the second, well, that could be used as blackmail material for whatever purpose he could need it. Malfoy had been slightly careless, and Harry's Slytherin side told him to take advantage of it.  
He followed the real Slytherins about thirty paces behind them, but when he got to the door he found that everyone had finished and were leaving the Hall. He didn't have a free period this morning, so he went straight to the Gryffindor Common Room to get his supplies for his first class, Potions, with Slughorn and the four Slytherins he had been following. This was going to be an interesting class.  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
When Harry got to the classroom, he sat at a table by a golden pot with Ernie MacMillan, Ron and Hermione. The pot smelled wonderful... like chocolate, with a hint of peppermint and, for some odd reason, hair gel. He found the potion was lulling him into a sense of security and sleepiness, and he was breathing very deeply and very slowly and the fumes coming from the cauldron seemed to fill him.  
He looked at Malfoy, the not-Death Eater, and the blond seemed to be studiously looking over his text book. The boy quickly looked up and looked back down when he saw Harry looking at him. So it was the ignoring thing again, then.  
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Draco knew the potion nearest Harry—yes, this had progressed to the stage of first names, if only in his head—but he was going to let Granger get it. Only to be a gentleman. It was Amortentia, yes; he could smell it all the way from where he sat. He recognised the scent immediately, eaux de Harry, he called it, a mixture of treacle tart, broomstick handle and a musky undertone that he couldn't quite recognise. He quickly glanced up at Potter from his Potions textbook and saw that Harry was looking back at him and quickly looked back down. What did Harry smell? Not his scent, of course, but probably that Weasel girl's, because they seemed to pine after each other. He 'hmphed' at himself and went back to skimming the textbook.  
Slughorn came in and when he told everyone to get out their materials, Potter and the Weasel didn't have any of them. Draco smiled inwardly. Of course he wouldn't have his materials. The prat probably didn't think he would even get into Potions, he thought to himself fondly. He watched as Weasel and Harry have a little hustle over the two textbooks left in the cabinet and saw Harry emerge unvictorious.  
Slughorn went over to the potions at the front and when he got to Amortentia, Theo came and whispered in his ear.  
"Hey, do you think it'd work if you tried it on Potter?" He said and smirked as Draco chuckled at the thought. That could work, but only for a while and he wanted to make sure that Harry was truly his, not just a love that was the product of some concoction of liquids and bits of plants.  
He got to the last one after Slughorn had complimented Granger twice and talked to Harry thrice. Maybe it was Granger that Harry liked, he thought, but then retracted the thought. Harry would never fancy her. Anyway, he got to the last potion, and it was Felix Felicis. This one grabbed Draco's attention the most, and if he were to obtain this potion, he could get lucky and tell Potter his feelings, he wouldn't go as far as to say that Potter would return his feelings, but it would help him along.  
Slughorn then announced that whoever could concoct the Draught of Living Death would receive enough Luck Potion to last twelve hours. That would be enough to have time to confess. Draco needed that potion desperately. He was determined to win.  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
In the end, as his abysmal luck would have it, Harry somehow won the contest. He was sad that it wasn't him, but if he wanted anyone else to win it, it would have been Harry, though he had doubted the boy would. And, of course, he had come in second, so it was all right. Oh well, maybe Severus would have some somewhere, but he'd probably have to work even harder at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, this was a very hard chapter to write. Well, did you like it? I thought it was kind of spicy but, if you don't think Harry should have known about those two facts quite so early, let me know! Also, the Amortentia, I like the scents, but I kind of worry about them... Please review! I am in desperate need of your opinion!


	6. Quidditch Drawings

Harry was in a relatively good mood. He had won a vial of Felix Felicis in Potions, of all classes. He knew how he had won it; with the help of his new—or well, new to him—textbook, on the inside of the front page it read "Property of the Half-Blood Prince." He had no idea who the Half-Blood Prince was, but he obviously did extremely well in Potions and was willing to share his knowledge with others. The book was filled with little notes on how to do things differently and get better results. It had worked splendidly!

The only questions he had now were: what was he going to do with his newly earned Liquid Luck and was he to tell his friends about the book? He decided no for the latter and that he would know when to use it when the time came for the first.

He cheerfully walked down the hallway to his second class and didn't even notice that Malfoy was staring at him at lunch like he possessed the key to the universe.  
Later, on that second day of class, he, Ron and Ginny went down to the Quidditch Pitch to practice and get ready for trials. Harry, being the captain of the team, did not need to try out, but figured he should practice anyway.  
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Harry seemed distracted. Draco knew why, but still, he found that a good time to stare without being noticed, so stare he did. In his long study of Potter, he watched his behaviour, which was very interesting. He seemed to be the quietest of his three friends, only talking when asked a question. Granger and Weasel sat and argued for about half the time, so Harry didn't get much time to talk anyway. He also studied Potter's body, or, what he could see above the table. His face, it showed every emotion he was feeling, his eyes, the glint they would get when he was amused or the slightly darker shade they seemed to take when he was angry or upset. Of course, he had known all of that before. What he really looked at was his mouth, his red lips that quirked when he was happy or amused, that full-fledged smile when he was really happy, exposing his pearly white teeth. Oh, how he wanted one of those smiles flashed at him, to have caused such a beautiful sight. He watched that mouth for ages, without noticing anything else that was going on around him. Not Theo's out-of-character exuberance, nor Pansy's lack thereof, which was also out of character for her.

He didn't look away once until Blaise elbowed him and told him, "Stop staring at Potter like a love-drugged puppy."

Draco abruptly stopped staring and glared at him, "I was not staring, I was simply observing him," he defended.

"Yeah, sure, you weren't drooling or anything."

"I sure as hell wasn't," but then he felt a wet spot on his chin and realised he had been drooling. He shook his head at his own foolishness and sent a glare at Blaise who put his hands in the air in surrender. What was the world coming to? He, Draco Malfoy, was drooling over Harry-sodding-Potter. Nothing good could come out of this.

After dinner he went down to the Quidditch pitch, not because he wanted to practice, but because he knew that that was where Potter would go. He left lunch early and went to the pitch with his sketchpad and pencil in hand.

He loved drawing; it was the one place he could look to when the world was turned against him. Well, the whole world wasn't against him right now, but the fates were. Anyway, he sat there for a few minutes and flipped through his pad, looking at pictures of his friends and his parents and his owl, Jupiter, in flight. He's been told that he's a good artist, but he doesn't need to be told, he knew.

He sat there looking at his pictures and laughing at the crazy things Pansy had made him draw for ten whole minutes before Harry showed up. He only had a few pictures of him, only one of them actually nice. He thought now, whilst on the Quidditch Field, would be a great time to get some amazing pictures.

As Weasley, Weaselette and Harry got onto their brooms, Draco began to draw. It didn't take him that long to get the outline and capture the most important parts, so he did only that and moved on to another picture. He could draw the details in later on. His first picture was of Potter laughing at something Weasel had said. He then remembered he hadn't truly laughed since last year. He wanted to share his first laugh of the year with Harry, though it probably wouldn't happen. He would probably end up laughing at some stupid failure of Greg's or a prank of Blaise's. He shrugged. Oh well, on to the next picture.

His next picture was of Harry in the air. Draco thought this one was brilliant, beautiful, magnificent, and awe-inspiring. With the wind running through his hair, the way the sweat glistened on his shiny cheek and the wild look in his eyes as he closed in on the snitch, Draco was determined to capture it perfectly. He completed that one right then and there.

Twenty minutes after they arrived, they seemed to finally acknowledge his presence. They stopped mid-flight and conversed, all the while staring and pointing at him. He scribbled random notes and tiny sketches as they decided his fate. In the end it seemed they decided he wasn't a threat and let him stay. For that he was grateful, now he could draw quite a few more pictures until they left. He stayed there for about an hour and a half, just before it started getting dark. He had gotten twelve new pictures of Potter and he couldn't wait to show them to Pansy, who always enjoyed his work, no matter what the content is.  
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When Harry got to the field, he saw Malfoy sitting by a Slytherin podium immediately. He was just sitting there, looking at him intensely, though he didn't seem to notice Harry notice him because his expression didn't change at all. Harry looked away quickly, as to not be noticed, and went to the middle of the field and got on his broom. It seemed Malfoy wasn't going to do anything, so he just let him be. He didn't want to deal with any of that today, not in his good mood.

Twenty minutes had passed before Ron even noticed that Malfoy was there. He rode over to Harry and stopped and pointed at Malfoy.

"Hey, d'you notice Malfoy was here?" He asked.

"Uh-huh. He's not really doing anything so let's just leave him be." Malfoy was now scribbling furiously on a small scrap of paper.

"B-but he's Malfoy. He's bound to make trouble at some point." Ron complained.

"If he does something, then we'll go in, but for now we should just let him be."

"Fine, but if something bad happens, don't say I didn't warn ya." Ron said as he went back to the goal posts where he was blocking shots Ginny was throwing. Harry went back to look for the snitch and for the rest of the time he was there, Malfoy did nothing except scribble on his little pad. Harry kind of wondered what he was writing on the pad, but he pushed the thought to the back of his head and said it was just something for school.

Malfoy stayed for a while before going back to the castle (Harry assumed he was going to the castle, but he could also be going somewhere else, who knew what Malfoys did in their spare time). As soon as he had left, Ron and Ginny came over to coerce over what had just occurred.

"Hey, that was strange wasn't it? Malfoy just sat there and scrawled all over his little pad," Ron exclaimed unbelievingly.

"Yeah, but let's just take it as a miracle and move on," Ginny urged and moved back to her spot on the field where she had been throwing Ron the ball and magically moving it so she could help him with last second decisions. Ron and Harry shrugged at each other and went back to what they were doing.

They stayed out for another hour before going back to the common room where Hermione made them do most of their newly-assigned homework before retiring to their dormitories and going to sleep, exhausted.  
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When he got to the Common Room, Pansy wasn't there. It was very odd; Pansy usually came back to the Common Room right after dinner to hear about all the new gossip. Even though it was the very beginning of the school year, there was always some gossip train going on around the school. Draco stayed in the common room and watched Blaise, Goyle, Crabbe and a few other Slytherins place bets with Theo. Draco knew better than to place bets with Theo. He always won. Always. Anyhow, this was a commonplace event in the Slytherin house, to see who could beat Theo, which no one ever did, but there were always stupid people wanting to be the new King of Gambling.

When Theo saw Draco though, he got up immediately and followed him as he went to the Dorm room which they shared with Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle. Then it hit him. If Blaise and Theo were... Well, you know, then were they going to be... You probably know that too, in the room? He shuddered; he was gay and thought that gay relationships were good and all, but his friends? Having sex in his room? He didn't even want to think about it.

"Umm, Theo?" He said, stopping in front of the door to their room.

"Yes Dray?" Theo said and gave him a twinkling smile. Draco narrowed his eyes. Was he determined to annoy him on every possible occasion?

"One, it's Dray-co, not just 'Dray', and secondly if you and Blaise ever get the need to, err, you know..." he moved his hands in a way he hoped Theo would understand, not wanting to say the word. Thankfully Theo understood and smirked as he nodded. "Well please put up a silencing spell and I swear I will not disturb you, whatsoever."

"All right little Virgin-Dra-co." Draco blushed and looked furiously at the ground. Theo laughed and they went into their room. Draco sat at one of the two desks that were in the room and Theo sat on the edge of his bed.

"So, Potter, eh?" Theo said, taking off his shoes and lying down.

"What do you want?" Draco said, turning around in his chair. If Theo wanted something, he wasn't going to get any work done until the boy got what he wanted.  
"You never told us about your plans on how you are going about this love interest. You seem pretty serious. Blaise told me you were drooling over him at lunch today," he said and gave Draco a knowing smirk.

"Well, for now I plan to just ignore him completely, as an experiment, you know. See how it goes. If nothing happens after a while, then I'll think about other ways to make him mine." Theo looked at him with not narrowed, but slightly closed eyes, looking him over.

"All right, so what do you think will happen if you ignore him?"

"I'm guessing he'll think I'm up to something and try to figure it out or get annoyed and demand attention from me. Or at least that's what I'm hoping. If he doesn't pay me any attention whatsoever and ignores me back, I'll move on to Slytherin tactics." He said and Theo stared at him, slightly bewildered.

"Right... okay. Are you feeling all right?" He asked and Draco gave him a questioning look.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. Why are you asking?"

"Well, that's just not a thing Draco Malfoy would do. If he wanted something, he would just go and grab it. Not wait it out and see what happens."

"Make sure you know this: Harry Potter is not a normal 'something I want.’ He is Harry Potter, Saviour of the Wizarding World, The Chosen One and all the other crazy nicknames he's gotten. Also, he's a guy. I've always admired them from afar, but I've never actually wanted one in the same way I want Harry, so it's special." He explained, desperately willing Theodore to understand.

"Oh, so he's Harry now, is he?"

"Is that really all you got from that?" Draco asked, sending Theo what he thought was a menacing glare, but Theo just laughed.

"No, no I get that. I felt the same way about Blaise; I mean, he was the first guy I've ever actually thought about as more than a friend." Theo smiled at him and went back to staring at the ceiling. Draco turned and sat did his work until he was finished with the things he had to turn in earliest, and went to bed, by which time the rest of his dorm mates had come in and gotten ready for bed. Blaise and Theo had slept in their respective beds and Draco was thankful for that. Even though he had been slightly—okay maybe not quite slightly—enthusiastic about it this morning, he was already having second thoughts. He had always thought of them as friends—to each other—and now that they weren't, well... he was going to need some time to adjust to this, and to the fact that he... loved Potter.

Yes, he had told all of his friends, but he still hadn't completely accepted it. What he said earlier, that was to reassure himself more than Theo, really. He thought his heart was going too fast for his head.

When he went to bed that night, he didn't go straight sleep like he usually did; instead he stared up at the canopy of his bed and thought about Harry and his feelings towards the boy. That got him almost nowhere, for he just kept thinking about his hair and his eyes and everything else about the boy. He eventually gave up and went to sleep, only to be haunted by the pictures he had drawn of the green eyed boy earlier.


	7. Ignorance is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh ho ho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have up until chapter 13 written and I will be posting all of it today. You are very lucky (??? too presumptuous?), you get the more heavily edited (i took out lots of stupid and careless mistakes like at one point I had Harry surprised to find out Draco was gay after he had already overheard it? That kind of stuff) version than ff.net and also you get it quicker. Yay! Enjoy, this chapter is something. But, thank you all for your kudos and comments, I really appreciate it!

It had been a month since school started and Harry was starting to become very suspicious of a certain blond. Draco Malfoy. He had been completely ignoring him; not the whole Golden Trio, as they are called, just him. Whenever he messed with Ron or Hermione and Harry told him to stop, he just gave a small smirk and walked off without saying a word to Harry. It was slightly unnerving. Harry felt the boy watching him sometimes and then when he had a face-to-face confrontation with him, he just walked away.

Harry had taken to watching him whenever possible, so that he didn't miss the start of an attack. It was great that he wasn't giving Harry any trouble personally, but the situation was starting to freak him out. Draco would call Hermione a mudblood and make fun of Ron's family, but as soon as Harry intervened, he just left. Just like that. When he left, there wasn't even a look of loathing or hatred on his face, just a calm and peaceful and somehow not-menacing smirk. Even Ron had noticed it.

"Hey, mate, don'tcha think Malfoy's been acting really weird lately?" He had asked one morning when they were at breakfast.

"Yes, I've noticed it too. He seems to have stopped bothering you and is focusing on us. I wonder why?" Hermione observed.

"He's not just stopped bothering me, he's ignoring me completely. Whenever I try to stop him he just smirks and walks away. That smirk, it irks me! He probably just thinks I'm not worth dealing with anymore. I'm glad."

"Well, he's probably not going to leave us alone anytime soon. So lucky, Harry," Ron complained and pouted at Harry. Harry gave him a scathing look and Hermione elbowed him in the stomach.

"He is not lucky! He's the least lucky at this whole table!" She said.

"Well, thanks Hermione. I feel so special now," Harry said sarcastically and smiled crookedly at her. They then dropped the topic and Hermione urged him to tell her about his last visit with Dumbledore.  
________________________________________  
Draco was ecstatic, to say the least. So far, his plan was working perfectly. He could see Harry's frustration grow every time he walked away with that smirk. It was so much fun to get a rise out of him! If he had known he could do it this way, he would have stopped making fun of him... well, last year really. He felt special. He was the only one (besides the Dark Lord and all his servants) that could get so much emotion out of him! And unlike the Dark Lord, he did it on a daily basis! Even if he couldn't get Harry to love him, at least he could get some kind of emotion from him.

When he wasn't ignoring Potter, he was studying. He had become a study-holic, because he did it so much. If one wanted to find him after school, they either had to check the Quidditch schedule (because he was of course the Seeker this year) or the library. If he wasn't there or they didn't have practice, don't look for him, you'd never find him. He liked to spend the time when he wasn't in class, practice or studying in his crying place, or his thinking place. Only Pansy knew his schedule by heart. The others didn't even know he had one. She, of course, was always off doing her own thing and too busy to be bothered with looking for him.

On Saturdays after his own team's practice (he was the captain, so it was his team) he would stay and watch the Gryffindor team practice and watch and draw Harry in the air. He had now almost filled up a new sketchpad his mother had sent him with pictures of Harry. He always sent the pads back to his mother. She had been slightly surprised when she had seen the pictures of Harry on his last pad; how was she going to react to a whole pad of him?

He had long come to terms with his feelings, and now that he had, they had slowly progressed into something not much less than obsession. Whenever he got the chance, he stared at the brunette, wondering what the boy was thinking about. He frequently woke up in the middle of the night in a hot sweat, hard and wanting the Boy-Who-Lived. None of his friends knew how far this had gone in him, at least he hadn't told them. He thought Pansy probably suspected it, but didn't mention anything. He had become a lot more introverted since he had come to school this year, choosing to study or draw instead of hang out with his friends in the common room. Pansy hadn't been very social either, which was a lot stranger than him being a bit antisocial that happened from time-to-time; but Pansy, she was a total social butterfly. She was always talking with some random groups of friends or getting the latest gossip from anyone who had it, whether it was believable or not. It was odd, but Draco had passed it over with a shrug. She probably just had a secret boyfriend in Hufflepuff or something.

He was now at dinner, staring at Harry when something caught his eye (besides Harry that is). Granger was staring at him with a calculating look. He didn't like that look. It seemed to pierce right through him and look at his very soul. He turned away, got up and left the hall.

An hour later, Draco was reading a Herbology book in the library. He suddenly heard the swish of a cloak and someone sitting across from him. He looked up and saw Granger sitting right across from him with that same calculating look. He just stood and turned to leave.

"Wait, Draco!" She cried. He turned around. It wasn't because she had called him, but by what she called him.

"You called me Draco..." he said staring at her bewilderedly. She gave him an amused smile.

"Yes, I did, I knew it would get your attention, now sit." She said and patted the seat next to her. He decided why not, there wasn't any point in not doing it. Except that she's a mudblood. A voice in the back of his head supplied. He told that voice to shut up and slid into his original seat. If he ever wanted Harry as his boyfriend, or to even like him, he was going to have to be at least civilized towards them.

"What do you want, Granger," he said in a bored monotone.

"I know you're in love with Harry..." she said, the simple words making Draco's eyes go wide with fear. Oh shit, what was she going to make him do? Probably something to make him regret every time he had called her a mudblood with every fibre of his being. She opened her mouth to speak again...

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love cliffhangers? I sure do. Well, it probably will be updated within the next few minutes, so if you're wondering what comes next you won't have to wait long! This was a rather short chapter and I'm sorry for that, but I just had to leave it there. Please review and thank you for reading!


	8. The Tests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is VERY LONG, so go ahead. Take a few minutes.

"And, if I find you worthy, I will help you," Granger said and smiled at Draco.

"What? Really? That-" Draco burst out, a bit flabbergasted.

"But! You will have to do a few things before I help you," her smile turned devilish and Draco leaned away from her—not that he wasn't already trying to get as far away as possible without her seeing.

"Like... like what?" He said and glared at her slightly. She just smirked.

"Well, for one, you will have to apologise to Ron and I for being so mean to us. You will also have to stop being mean to the general Gryffindor populous. You are the Slytherin leader and they will probably follow every move you make," he sat up a bit straighter at that. He was, as most people knew, the Ice Prince of Slytherin, but it was nice when people mentioned it whilst talking to him.

"I could... possibly manage that," he said arrogantly, pulling at his tie to make sure it was in the right spot, which it was. Granger rolled her eyes.

"That would be great-"

"But not everyone will follow me if they find out my," he looked around and leaned a bit closer to Granger from across the table, and said in a low, dramatic voice, "secret." Granger rolled her eyes again and Draco snickered as he backed away. She's actually kind of like Pansy. He could get used to her, if he looked past her blood status.

"You are just full of dramatics. Does anyone else know about your 'secret'?" She said, putting air quotes around the word secret, and Draco mocked offence.

"It is a secret and yes, three other people know about it. Pansy, who I'm sure has been keeping this from me since fourth year, Theo, but only because he's dating Blaise—you did not hear that—and Blaise."

"Do your parents know?"

"I suspect my mother has her suspicions, but I haven't actually told her. My father, on the other hand, I would never tell him, never. He would disown me quicker than you can say Malfoy, even if he is in Azkaban."

"Why?"

"Being... homosexual in a famous pureblood circle like my family's is a big taboo. It means you can't have an heir and therefore the family line will stop. Those kind of kids usually get forced into arranged marriages and are hounded by their elders until they have a child. If I were left alone to do whatever I please, I would probably adopt a child or something, but they don't get that, they just think you are an abomination and a disgrace to your family. My mother, she would support me through this, I know, but my father, he would take one look at me and send me off to live off my own devices." He said and then scowled at himself. Why on earth was he having this conversation with Granger? Of all people. Well, it could be worse; Weasel could have been the one to figure it out, and he mentally shuddered at the prospect and turned back to Granger who was eyeing him with pursed lips and a look of pure concentration.

"Hmm, that's two new things learned today. Anyway, the third condition for me to help you is: proving yourself. I have made ten tests for you to complete over the course of the next week. When you have finished all of them I will see if you are worthy of Harry. He is very special, to us and to the world; we cannot just have some stuck-up, arrogant little brat or some nimpy-wimpy pansy be the one to be there for him when he needs him most, which you will be." She sent him an inquiring look and he nodded.  
"Of course I accept, but how are you going help me?"

"Well, with your permission I'd like to become your study partner. Alongside the educational benefits, I will tell Harry and Ron about this, and Ron will probably think that you've put me under some potion, but Harry will probably come to some of the sessions and watch to make sure you are not just sitting there and letting me do all the work or making fun of me. You can then use your Malfoy charm to... do whatever. Of course, I would never let you just sit there and, by example of this conversation, I think you can go for at least five minutes without insulting me or calling me a mudblood." The way she said mudblood so flippantly surprised Draco. He would have thought she'd despise the word so much she would never want to say it ever.

"That sounds good, wh-"

"Ooh! And I could mention random good things about you! Like, "Malfoy really helped me with my DADA work!" only because DADA is my worst subject, or "Wow, Malfoy is lookin' fine today." Things like that," she said and snickered at Malfoy's gob-struck face.

"Never... never say that again Granger. That is- that is just... ugh, they would definitely think I put you under a potion if you said that. I'm thinking someone's dosed you with something myself. Merlin, that just sounds disturbing..." Granger was now full-out laughing, albeit quietly so they wouldn't get heard or kicked out, but still laughing her head off as Draco stared at her with a bewildered and slightly disgusted look.

"As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me and said something that extremely disturbing... were you trying to compliment me? What are the tests on and when will they happen?" Draco asked after Granger had calmed down.

"Well, I'm not going to tell you when exactly, for they will be spontaneous, but I'll tell you the days they come on. On Monday we will have the sympathy test to see if you can console him and make him feel better after nightmares and such. On Tuesday are the kindness and intelligence, kindness to see how kind and caring you can be towards him. I don't expect you to be nice to anyone else, just him; intelligence is pretty self-explanatory. On Wednesday are the trust tests, one for you trusting him and one for seeing if you are trustworthy. Thursday we have the lust and love tests," Draco felt a blush coming across his face and he tried to control it, but Granger just sent him a weak smile, "Lust because he is a teenage boy and they do have... urges and love, and because I want to see if you actually want him and you don't just lust after him. Friday is the loyalty test, to show that you will be loyal to him first and foremost, like Ron and I. Saturday is the bravery test, to see how much you will fight for him in the face of danger. Lastly, on Sunday is to see how well you can face danger."

"Okay, I can deal with that. Those all seem like necessary precautions," Draco said and shrugged. Granger gave him one more once over.

"Do we have a deal?" Granger said and held her hand out, waiting for him to take it. He took it and looked at her firmly.

"Deal." He said as he dropped her hand. They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes until Draco had had enough. "Okay, so now is security... I don't want you blabbing off to Potter about this. He cannot know. Not until I want him to." Granger nodded.

"I understand, I wouldn't ask any less of you."

"So, will you mind if I put a spell on you that makes it so you can't tell them any of it?"

"Which spell?"

"You probably know it," he got up and went to the aisle across from the one they were in and pulled out a medium-sized green book. He came back to the table, put the book on the table and opened it to page 235. "Here, this is the one." He said, pointing to the top of the page where the name of the spell was.

"Oh yes! I've heard of this one! In fact, I think I've read this entire book."

"I can see how you would have; it is a very helpful book. Now, open your mouth." She opened her mouth and he put his wand right outside of it. "Are you thinking of the tests and my secret?" She nodded. "Only those things?" She nodded again. They were the only things on his mind as well; he concentrated on the future tests and his love of Potter. For a second he drifted off and thought mostly about Potter. He closed his eyes and willed his brain to think more about the tests. He got it equal and whispered, "Oratio Scandalum."

He opened his eyes just in time to see a small golden thread going down her throat and he smiled. "Try it." She opened her mouth and looked like she was going to speak, but nothing came out and she moved her mouth silently, and Draco smirked. Wonderful.

"Why have you been so accepting... of me? I was thinking you'd just push me away and I'd have to force you to talk to me..." She said quietly.

"It is in my best interests as you are his closest friend. I've actually been planning a confrontation with you, as I would never talk to the Weasel about this; that would just be a disaster. I've been preparing myself and trying to defy my family by talking pleasantly for the past two months. Two months! I thought it would take a year, at least..." he finished by grumbling lowly. Granger just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You've been in love with him for two months and I never noticed!" She almost screeched and he quickly smacked the book against her mouth. "Ow, that hurt."

"Hmph, don't scream out like that and I won't have to do that."

"No one else can hear, remember?"

"Right. Now, I have no idea how long I've... had this thing for him, but I realised it on the platform for the Hogwarts Express and then it took about a month to accept it and then I just... who knows. Well, I have to go, Pansy is probably wondering where the hell I am, though she should know already, but I don't want anyone to see us together, got it? I like my muggleborn-hating façade, and don't you dare tell anyone."

"I can't, remember?" She said and pointed to her mouth which was in a slight smile. He picked up his books and left. That had been a lie, of course. Pansy was probably off with her secret boyfriend—why didn't she just tell him about this person, of course he'd be okay with it—and he just had to get out of there before he randomly started screaming out insults at her. That had been the hardest conversation of his life, and he was going to have to practice some more or this was going to be the worst week of his life. No, even with practice this was going to be the worst week of his life. He got to the Common Room and sat down in his chair, got out his book again and alternated between working on his Herbology essay and watching the other boys gamble.

Eventually he went to bed and stared at the top of his canopy again. After a while, Theo walked in and went to his bed at the edge of the room. They were always the first two up, and the rest stayed down in the Common Room and did many nefarious things Draco didn't want to know about. Theo lay down and put his hands behind his head and stretched his legs out in a very relaxed position. Draco, meanwhile, was very stiff, with his hands pressed to the sides of his thighs and his legs looked as though they were glued together with a leg-locker curse, and overall he just looked extremely tense.

"Hey," Theo greeted, not moving his unwavering gaze from the top of his bed.

"Hello," he responded, looking—if at all possible—even more tense.

"So, you look a bit tense... anything wrong?"

"And why should I discuss my personal problems with you?" Draco said tersely.

"Because I'm your friend?"

"Yes, well we aren't in Hufflepuff or Gryffindor, we don't 'talk out our problems.'"

"Okay then. Do you think Ravenclaws ever talk out their problems?" Draco turned his head sharply, effectively popping his neck and cringing a bit in pain, then glaring at Theo, who was looking at him with large, innocent eyes.

"The hell are you talking about?"

"Hmm, just wondering..." he said and looked back at his canopy and Draco barely missed the smirk that came across his face. Draco glared at him without much conviction for a few minutes before looking back up at his own canopy.

"Have you told your father about... well, you know... being gay?" Theo's smirk turned into a devilish smile. He had obviously gotten what he wanted.

"No, why should I? He thinks I'm an amazing son and says he couldn't be prouder if he had any different son... why should I just go and crush that well thought-up illusion? He already lost Mother... he would be completely crushed if he thought I had turned on him too, which I haven't." Theo said lightly. Draco nodded. He could relate that. His father thought he was a good enough son, not great, but not bad either. He was just the only thing that could continue the Malfoy line and bring up the next generation, the only hope for continuance. He didn't really care about Draco himself, as long as he didn't do anything too dirty [to] the Malfoy name. Being gay would definitely count towards that. It would be a disgrace, and with Potter too, that only made things worse. "Why?"

The question, simple as it was, shook him. He hadn't been expecting Theo, always the outsider, always the one to try to stay away from as many social obligations as possible—aside from gambling, that is—to ask so many questions.

"What's it to you?" He hissed. Now that he had done a bit of talking, he was just exhausted and wanting to get to sleep as soon as possible. He could see Theo turned over and smiled at him. Draco visibly relaxed and turned away from him before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

"Goodnight Draco, and may good luck follow you where ever you may go." Theo said and smiled as Blaise came in and looked between him and Draco with an arched brow. Theo shook his head, a smirk playing over his old grin and beckoning Blaise to come lay beside him. Blaise came over and lay down as Theo swiftly fell asleep in his arms, happy as a puppy in its mother's loving embrace.  
________________________________________  
When Harry walked into the Common Room he immediately looked over to Hermione, who was reading a book, as usual. When she felt him looking at her she looked up and then covered her face with the book. He quickly walked over to her and sat next to her. When he sat down, he heard soft, muffled giggles from underneath the book cover.  
"What's so funny Hermione?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing," and then she just burst out laughing at Harry's confused and annoyed expression. Ron then walked over and sat next to Harry and gave him a look, asking what Hermione was doing. He just shrugged and looked back at the giggling Hermione—it was now back to giggling, then.

"Her-"

"Fine! Fine! I can't take it! I never was good at keeping secrets." She opened her mouth and it started moving as if she was running a long monologue, but no sounds were coming out. Neither Ron nor Harry could read lips and they looked at each other, bewildered. "There. That is why I'm laughing," she finished and when she looked back at Harry and Ron, and she started laughing again.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that..." Harry said. It just made her laugh even harder.

"Shut it, Harry. This is real rare, Hermione's laughing so much, she probably can't think straight!" Ron exclaimed.

"You couldn't hear me? Good, he'll be happy it worked." She said once she had calmed down. Harry and Ron jumped at the statement.  
"He? Who is 'he'?" Ron asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Oh, no one, no one. You wouldn't care. Plus, if I do say, it'll just be more silent mouth movement. Let's just say I had a meeting with someone in the library and they put a spell on me that makes it so I can't talk about it."

"You didn't, you..." Ron trailed off, unable to finish that thought without going completely red. Hermione could tell what he was thinking and blushed as well.  
"No! No, he loves someone else anyway..." she covered her face again as another fit of giggles overcame her. Ron and Harry raised their eyebrows at each other. Giggling Hermione was... well, weird. What really got at Harry though, was, who had she met up with and what they had talked about? Well, she would tell them in time, so he would have to keep wondering for now, as she obviously wasn't going to tell them now.

He gave up with a sigh and went up to the dorms as he had had a very busy day and another meeting with Dumbledore tomorrow. He went to sleep almost instantly and no nightmares or such woke him that night, as if he was being protected.  
________________________________________  
Draco had Sunday to prepare himself for whatever was to come. Of course he didn't do that much preparation because he had no idea what to prepare for. On Monday he walked to breakfast extra cautiously, looking around at every sound that wasn't someone talking. Every clink of forks, every unnatural sound coming from someone's mouth all made him jump and wonder if Granger was going to pull something on him now. He glared over at the Gryffindor table, straight at Granger who was completely focused on her food. When she felt his glare, though, she looked up and immediately started giggling down at her plate. Weasel and Harry looked at her with confused faces. She quickly looked back at Draco who glared harder at her, and she went back to giggling. Potter glanced up and looked to where she had been looking, and saw Draco glaring at her for one second before he saw Harry looking at him and gave him a quick glare before looking back to his meal.  
________________________________________  
Harry was sure Malfoy had been the one Hermione had been talking to in the library the other day, but he still had to find out why.

"Hermione... was Malfoy the one you..." she looked at him with eyes that were starting to tear up from all the giggling she was doing.

"Possibly." That settled it then; Hermione had met Malfoy in the Library yesterday to... do something that Malfoy didn't want anyone to know about. She had said they hadn't done anything of a sexual manner, but what was it that they had done? Study? Possibly. But that wouldn't make her giggle like she was now. Discussed something? What would they have to discuss? Hermione said something about Malfoy liking someone else... Maybe Hermione had found out who he liked and was blackmailing him with it. That would explain the giggling and the glares from Malfoy. That's probably what it was; Hermione was blackmailing Malfoy to do... something and Hermione was having fun with it. He smiled fondly at her as she stopped her giggling and went back to eating. Wait... but who did Malfoy fancy then? Eh, it didn't concern him and he went back to eating his food.  
________________________________________  
Later that day, Draco was walking down a corridor all by himself. He had no idea how he had gotten alone, for he had made sure all of his cronies were around him when he had left Potions that day, but they had all somehow defected to different places somewhere along the way. So now he was walking anxiously down a completely empty corridor, minding his own business, when suddenly he heard a sobbing sound coming from a small hallway that cut off from the main one. Draco went over to check it out. What he saw shocked him. It was Harry, curled up in ball, sobbing and sniffling, tears running down his face. Draco gasped and Harry looked up, instantly sensing his presence. He stood up and pointed his wand at Draco. Draco just stood there for a few seconds before running up to him and enveloping him in a large hug.

Seeing Harry like that had been heart-breaking, and it had caused something within Draco to fall away and he lost all sense of arrogance and pretentiousness, and gave into the primeval need to comfort and care for the boy. Had it been anyone else he would have turned away and continued walking, but for Harry... he just couldn't stay away. They fell slowly to the floor again, drifting down, Harry breaking into sobs again as Draco held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go. Draco sat there comforting him for about ten minutes, not saying a word, just holding on tightly and emitting calming feelings onto this person. Then the brunette stopped crying for a moment and looked up at Draco.  
"You know, Malfoy, you're..." and he never got to finish what he was going to say, because at that moment he dissolved into a small pile of dust.

"GRANGER!" He shouted through clenched teeth. Draco walked out of the small corridor and found her with Potter and Weasel all standing stock still in the hallway he had originally been in when he heard the sobs. "Granger! What the bloody hell was that!"

"Well, it was, I mean- um..." Granger stammered, then it dawned on him.

"That was a brilliant Transfiguration. Could you, possibly, teach me how to do that someday? It would be perfect for certain things." At this point he sent a sneer to a wide-eyed Weasel.

"Y-y-you, you just complimented Hermione!" Draco thought about it and then frowned to himself. He had, hadn't he?

"I did, didn't I," he said and gave a very displeased sniff the boy's way then turned back to Granger. "I thought that was real! You could have given me some kind of warning that it was going to turn into dust. I almost got it all over my clothes! And these are very expensive, I'll have you know. Next time, don't make it disappear like that!"

"What, would you have liked to stay there all day or maybe have it be a dummy and take it back to your room with you?"

"Both of those things would have been fine. Just not a pile of dust! That was- that was traumatising! Or you could have made it say "I'm going to turn into a pile of dust," not what it did say! What was it going to say?"

"What did it say?"

"It said, 'You know, Malfoy, you're...' and then it turned to dust! Just, boom! Dust!"

"You passed!"

"Of course I passed, did you think I wouldn't?" He could tell by her sheepish grin what the answer was.

"Well, no, I didn't."

"Hmph. I don't know if this will go through if you have no faith in me."

"I'll try," Draco glared at her, gave Potter that smirk he knew would infuriate him to no end and glared at Weasel before turning and walking to where he was supposed to meet Pansy and then go to Dinner.  
________________________________________  
"Mione... did you just have a somewhat civil conversation with Malfoy?" Harry asked once Malfoy had turned a corner.

"He didn't even call you a you-know-what once." Ron said, slightly amazed. "And he complimented you!"

"Well, yes. To all of that. We have an agreement of sorts. But I can't tell you about it right now, sorry. I'll tell you someday."

"So that's who you were within the Library yesterday! He didn't hurt you, did he?" Ron asked very seriously and Hermione blushed.

"No, no. I think I dealt him a bit more damage than he did to me, actually. Considering what he's planning, though, I don't know if that'll last long."

"What's he planning?" Harry inquired.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. It'd just be silent words like last night."

"Oh." Ron said with a downward look.

________________________________________  
The rest of the week passed by very slowly for Draco; Tuesday's and Thursday's tests were the easiest for him and he passed them with ease. While the Loyalty test was hardest as it contained multiple tests because, as Granger said, "loyalty can be faked and it needs to be tested multiple times before it could be proven true." Sunday's tests took place in the Forbidden Forest (he had no idea how she had gotten the test ready without getting caught) and Saturday's by a part of the lake that was almost always deserted.

On Sunday, right after the test, he lay down on the forest floor. He was exhausted.

"So, Malfoy, has this exercise cut you down so much you've decided that leaves and dirt are a soft and comfortable bed?" Granger said, smirking down at him.

"No, that last test was just really exhausting. You had to use all those creatures? Won't your Hagrid be sad?" He snapped at her, glaring as he tried to get up. She bent down to help him but he shook her off.

"Actually, those were just more piles of dust."

"You have really got to teach me that spell someday," he said as he started to walk back to the castle.

"Wait! Don't you want your results?"

"Yes, but I shouldn't have to stop to get them, I just want to get to my bed as quickly as possible."

"So you can go to sleep with your Harry plushy?" He glared at her and she burst into giggles.

"Oh, shut it." He said and pushed her playfully.

"Do any of your friends know you have that?"

"Just Theo, but he promised he wouldn't tell anyone and looks at me every day like I'm going crazy."

"Doesn't he know you're already crazy?" She asked and giggled again when he glared at her again. She could be annoying at times, but she had really grown on him, as he was up to being able to tolerate her for a whole hour and thirty minutes now, and he was proud of himself for being able to get along with Harry's friends and he could feel himself getting closer to him daily. They walked out of the Forest with Hermione digging through her school bag before she pulled out a small piece of paper and a quill. She scratched something on it and handed it to Draco.

Malfoy's test results  
Monday- Sympathy... 98% O  
Tuesday- Kindness... 84% E  
Tuesday- Intelligence... 99% O  
Wednesday- Trust P1... 87% E  
Wednesday- Trust P2... 82% A  
Thursday- Lust... 98% O  
Thursday- Love... 97% O  
Friday- Loyalty... 81% A  
Saturday- Bravery... 86% E  
Sunday- Ability... 94% O

"So I passed all of them?" Draco asked, not able to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Yep. We start our study sessions tomorrow at 3:30 in section 3-A, and I'll tell Harry about it and the tests, but not what they were for, right?"

"Yes, now I am going to go to my dorm and sleep. You are really exhausting."

"Thank you!" She said brightly and Draco rolled his eyes as they got to Hagrid's hut, and Granger went inside to visit him. Draco was going to do it. Tonight he was going to write to his mother and tell her he was gay and that he loved Harry Potter. Of course, she had probably already guessed that, but confession was always the best way to his mother's heart.

When he got back to the common room, everyone stared at him. He couldn't blame them, he was probably a bit bloody and covered in sticks and leaves and stuff, and he hadn't bothered to clean himself off once he left the forest, he was just too tired. He didn't mind, though, and he just went straight through them and up to his room. There he wrote his letter to his mother.

Dear Mother,

I am writing to you tonight, not only to send you my latest drawings, but also to confess something. I think you may have already figured this out with the drawings and all—but I am gay and in love with Harry Potter. If you would like me to explain—which I'd rather not—reply to this saying you would like an explanation. Anyway, I have also befriended his muggleborn friend, Hermione Granger. She is rather like Pansy in some ways, and one could call her the Gryffindor Pansy, and I get along well with her once I put her blood status behind me. I do hope to have your approval of these choices, or at least have you still love me after you hear this. I have not, however, made a friend of Weasley and I don't intend to. I dislike him for other reasons besides being a blood-traitor.

Also, please do not tell father. I will write to him when I find it necessary, but for now I would like to keep it a secret from him.

Your loving son,

Draco

Of course, he didn't plan on telling his father ever, but his mother would like it if she thought he would and what was one small white lie? He put the letter under his pillow so he could send it tomorrow. He took out the Harry body pillow Granger had made for him, closed his curtains, locked them with a spell and lay down drifting almost instantly to sleep.


	9. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit may or may not hit a fan of some sort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! This chapter is fun, a bit bloody and violent and kind of a climax I guess. Includes: Mean and Angsty Harry, Confused Ron, Innocent Draco, Flexible Theo, Depressing Pansy and Dumbledore just being Dumbledore.

Draco woke the next morning, opened his curtains and quickly put Harry under the bed. He turned towards his pillow and took out his letter to his mother. He was up a bit earlier than usual so he could go to the Owlery before breakfast. He felt eyes on him and turned to see Theo staring at him and grinning devilishly. Draco narrowed his eyes at him as Theo sat up and stretched.

"So, how was your sleep with Harry last night?" Theo said happily.

"Shut it," Draco said and threw a pillow at him. Theo dodged it by leaning backwards dramatically and came back up with a smooth circular motion. Draco just gave him a raised eyebrow as Theo threw the pillow back to Draco's bed and walked to a dresser on the other side of his bed.

Draco took a shower and got ready very quickly, anxious to send the letter before he changed his mind. By the time he went down to the Common Room he was already having doubts about the letter, so he rushed to the Owlery, running through the halls and not seeing who he was passing by or looking at his surroundings in general. Then he ran into someone. He stopped, backed up and looked up to see the twinkling blue eyes of Professor Dumbledore.

"Well, hello Mister Malfoy. And what are you doing on this fine morning?" Dumbledore said and chuckled slightly at the blonde's appearance. He looked very disheveled; his hair was messy to the point of being compared to Harry's, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were still a bit droopy and tired-looking.

"I'm going to the Owlery to send my mother a letter Headmaster."

"A bit excited, eh?" Dumbledore said and Draco looked at his feet. Was he going to get in trouble for running in the halls?

"It's a very important letter, Headmaster."

"Of course! Of course, as is every letter a child sends to his or her parents! Now, why were you running?"

"Umm, so I wouldn't change my mind on sending it?" He said, wondering if that sounded too stupid.

"And why wouldn't you want to send it? As you said, it's very important."

"Well, I'm not sure she'll like the contents much."

"Ah, I see. Well, I should let you on your way, then," Dumbledore said and moved out of Draco's way with a grand movement. Draco nodded his thanks and gave the Headmaster a confused and slightly disgusted look as they both turned away and he continued on to the Owlery. When he got there he found his owl, and attached the letter to its leg before telling it to send it to his mother. He watched the large eagle owl fly off and shivered as he turned to head out. When he turned he saw a pure white snowy owl sitting on one of the windows in the small building. He immediately recognised it as Potter's. What was its name again? Hedwig. That's it.

"Hello, Hedwig," Draco said as he walked up to it cautiously. He held his hand out to it and the bird looked at it curiously before nudging it with her beak. He began to pet it, softly. Owls had always taken to him quickly, some were even attracted to him—he couldn't blame them, of course, he was bloody gorgeous. He usually tried to get them as far away from him when in public, but at times like this, when he was completely alone with only the owls as company, he would give them lots of attention and care for them tenderly. "You really are a beautiful bird, aren't you? Maybe even prettier than my Allard. Okay, you're a lot prettier than him, but don't tell him I said that, all right?" The owl hooted as Draco scratched it under its beak. He smiled at Hedwig before turning to look at all the other birds. "You might even be the best-looking owl in this whole room!" He cheered enthusiastically, waking a few birds who just lifted their head, and one was lazy enough to just open an eye at him before going back sleep.

He said goodbye to all the owls and went down to fix himself up properly. He knew he looked a mess, but he had wanted to deliver that letter quickly and make sure his mother got it as soon as possible. He walked through every secret passageway and hid in every alcove as people walked by; he would not be seen this way, even if he was gay, he still had his Malfoy pride. He got back to the Common Room, which was a lot busier than it had been earlier and snuck around the group of people in there, only being caught by a few people who just stared at him or barely noticed him and casually called out a greeting.

He got to his dorm room and brushed and groomed his hair thoroughly, and also dimmed the blush that had risen in his cheeks due to how cold it had been in the Owlery and his rushing about the castle. Once he was completely prepped up, he straightened his tie, put on his trademark Malfoy smirk and headed down to breakfast.

________________________________________  
At breakfast Hermione explained what she had been doing with Malfoy for the past week. Harry was kind of surprised that he had passed all of the tests. Bravery, loyalty, kindness? Those did not seem like Malfoy qualities.

"Which three did he do worst on?" Ron asked before stuffing an egg into his mouth.

"Well, kindness, being able to be trusted and loyalty. But I made the loyalty one extremely hard, so it's a wonder he got what he did," she said, biting her lip.

"Ha! Two out of three!" Harry exclaimed.

"Damn it, mine were kindness, sympathy and love. He really has the ability to love?" He questioned and Hermione elbowed him in the gut.

"Of course he does! Every human has the capability of loving. And I'll have you know that was his third highest score." Harry and Ron's mouths dropped: third best! "Well, since lust and sympathy got the same grade, I guess it's really fourth," she said, pondering what she had said for a second.

"Of course lust got second. What teenage boy wouldn't be lusty? Wait... if it got second, what got first?" Ron said, peering over at the Slytherin table, trying to find Malfoy.

"Intelligence obviously! He is the second best in our year!"

"You being the first," Harry pointed out and Hermione blushed.

"He's actually smart! I thought he was just cheating or something. You know, like the Slytherin he is," Ron said, suspicion lacing his voice.

"Well he couldn't possibly have cheated on this test, because I made it the night before, and casted cheating detection spells on his quill and watched him the whole time it was taken. It would have taken a lot of effort, work and preparation to cheat on that test and, considering what the tests counts towards, I don't think he would have done that." Hermione said logically.

"Okay, well, let's talk about something else. Hermione, have you finished the potions homework?" That successfully changed the subject. Harry still didn't trust Malfoy, no matter what Hermione's tests said. And that was it: why was he hanging out with Hermione in the first place? Didn't he hate her and call her a mudblood every time he saw her? He had to be planning something now. Sure, he had told his friends he wasn't a Death Eater, but what if he was lying to them? Who would just come out and say, "hey everybody! I'm a Death Eater now!"? Well, Harry didn't think anyone would do that—they'd get arrested—but it would be like Malfoy to brag about that sort of thing. If he wasn't, it meant he was doing something really horrible, or was doing nothing at all, but that wouldn't make sense with how he'd been acting the past month, ignoring Harry but not his friends, and it was just suspicious. Harry was going to have to look into this. Hermione wouldn't tell them what the tests were for, so Harry would have to find out himself.

________________________________________

Later that day, at 3:25, to be exact, Draco was in the hallway, striding leisurely down the hall with as much grace as one can have whilst striding leisurely. His destination was the library, for he was to meet a young muggleborn of the same age group as himself named Hermione Granger there. He, of course, had finished any and all homework that was due within the next day, but it never hurt to get ahead and finish the homework he had received in today's classes. He could go to the Study Hall and study with the rest of his classmates, but he had agreed to this study session with Ms. Granger yesterday, and Malfoys never go back on their word. Also, the Library would provide him with extra resources for his various reports and such.

Five minutes later he arrived right on time in the Library and found Granger with her face dangerously close to the page of a book in row 3-A.

"Hello," she said absently, not even bothering to look up and make sure it was the right person.

"Good afternoon, Granger," Draco said and pulled out a small black book from the third shelf of the row. He sat down and opened the book to look at the table of contents before finding what he needed and quickly flipping to the page he was looking for.

They sat there in silence for a while, reading and writing quick notes in their notebooks, before Granger closed her book and put it back on the shelf. She got out a short length of paper and started her writing, occasionally looking at the piece of paper on which she had scrawled her notes.

When Draco put up his book and copied her movements, Granger decided it would be the right time to start a conversation.

"So, how has your day been, Malfoy?" She asked, not looking up from her paper. Draco looked up at her, giving her a slightly suspicious look before returning to his work.  
"Exasperating. Pansy—being the bipolar freak she is—kept on going from being overly happy and obsessive, to quiet, calm and depressing, and a right pain that is; she's become unbearable to talk to these past few months, always moping or blabbing her mouth off about some stupid thing no one cares about. It's hard to have intelligent conversation with her anymore. Blaise and Theo were overly lovey-dovey, and no one else would be able to notice, but the small things they did do were... disconcerting, at best. You can't have decent conversations with one of them and not have it turn into something about the other. Crabbe and Goyle are absolute dunder-heads, so I've lost any and all forms of useful communication." He said, and stopped working for a second to wonder why he had said all this to the mudblood. She was the best friends of his ultimate rival. The rival who happened to be the one he seemed to be in love with. Ugh, it was all so confusing when you added in the friends. And he thought he had moved past this point already. She's a mudblood, he's a blood-traitor, and you should hate both of them! An unhelpful voice that he recognised as his father's said in his head. But you love him. It doesn't matter whether he is a blood-traitor, or a half-blood or marked for death by the Dark Lord. You should act only on what you truly feel. Another voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother's told him. He decided he'd leave that discussion for later and shoved it to the back of his head.

"Oh, sorry to hear about that. Ron has been begging me to finish his Potions homework for him and Harry has gotten his hands on this mysterious book that has little hints and tips about how to make Potions, while I am trying to figure out who it belonged to. Slughorn has invited me to a Dinner party with the Slug Club, and basically my whole life is based around Potions right now!"

"Hmph, well good luck with finding out who that person is," he said, slightly disgruntled by the fact that she had made it into the Slug Club and he hadn't, even though he was slightly better than her in Potions. They then lapsed into another silence in which Draco's two voices decided it was a good time to start up their fight again. In the next hour he managed to finish only three more inches, contrary to his usual five. It was then time for Dinner and they planned the next meeting and separately went to dinner.  
Instead of going to the Great Hall he went to the Owlery to see if his mother had sent him a reply. She had.

"Hello, Allard." Draco said, and he then took the letter from his beak and looked over the bird, appraising his fine features. "How did mother not notice you need to be brushed? Or did she expect me to do it," as soon as he said that he scoffed, "She knows better than to think I would lower myself to brushing a bird, even if I do enjoy their company from time to time." He then remembered the letter and the whole purpose for his being here. He gingerly opened the letter and peered at it to see his mother's delicate handwriting.

My Dearest Draco,  
Though it cannot be said that I entirely approve of your befriending of muggleborns, I do understand the curiosity you may have in relating to these people. I myself was once tempted astray from the path of pureblood righteousness when a young Lily Evans approached me in my third year, which was a rather traumatic time as my sister, Andromeda, had ran away with her own beloved muggleborn. Yes, I do know that Miss Evans is your love's mother and I do fully regret turning down her offer of acquaintanceship. About Potter, I do more-so understand that love is important in a relationship, even if your father and I had none in the beginning of ours, but we have grown to love and care for each other as one might think a couple should. If you love Potter, go and get him, I encourage it so that you may have a good, long and happy life and not end up in a dead-end, no-love relationship like your Aunt Bellatrix and Uncle Rudolphus. Also, Potter can help in saving you from the fate I know we both fear: that you should become a Death Eater.  
Though I know you always say that it would be the utmost honour to serve him, I know you are lying, I can see it in your eyes. You need not explain anything. Your father would approve greatly of this, but I do not want this for you, it is not your path, I fear, to follow in your father's footsteps. I encourage you to create your own path and follow your heart, but you must never tell your father I have said this, or what you have told me. I only want what is best for you and if you do tell him I fear you will be caught in a maelstrom of your father's fury. Please, be brave, be strong, be all that I know you can be. I love you always, no matter what happens, I love you.

Sincerely,  
Narcissa Malfoy  
Your Loving Mother

P.S. I did guess your newly gained thoughts on Mr. Potter, your drawings of him are quite beautiful and I do enjoy seeing them and seeing your own thoughts and personality reflected within them, please keep drawing and sending them to me. It is the highlight of my day when I receive a filled drawing pad for me to go through.

Draco stood there for a few moments, shocked. The only thing that he had expected was the first line. The one telling him she did not approve of his pending acquaintanceship with Granger, the mudblood. The rest of it... he sat there in a bewildered haze, staring confusedly at the letter for about five more minutes before shaking his head and snapping his thoughts back in place. His mother had said she approved of his thoughts on Harry and she had also had thoughts of being friends with a muggleborn—Lily Evans no less. Also, how did she know that he had no intention of becoming a Death Eater? She said she had seen it in his eyes, but was he really that easy to read? No, it had to be only his mother who could read him like that, she had been doing it since he was small.

But the last sentence; that's what really got him. The last time his mother had told him she loved him was the day on Platform Nine and Three-quarters, when he was going away for his first day at Hogwarts. He could tell that she still loved him even though she had started treating him a bit differently when he had arrived from his first year at Hogwarts. It then hit him that this was large, huge, enormous even, for his mother to tell him she loved him, and it was as big as coming to Hogwarts. He felt a sudden burst of joy and thought [that] he would surely skip his way to the Great Hall if he didn't have his Malfoy pride on the line. His mother loved him. He was loved. It was great to know that someone out there loved and cared for his well-being. He took the presents laid beside the owl—another drawing pad and a bag of sweets—and walked as normally as he could in his love-clouded state to the Great Hall.

All the way there, thoughts like I love and I am loved floated through his brain. He barely paid attention to anything going on around him during Dinner and when he went to bed, he hardly noticed the odd looks he got from his housemates as he went to bed.  
________________________________________  
Harry watched Malfoy at Dinner. He was acting strange; he seemed to be in his own world and not paying any attention to anyone around him. Harry hadn't seen Malfoy act like this in two months, and before the beginning of this year, never. Why was Malfoy so bloody happy? Was being a Death Eater that fun? He couldn't imagine it being fun at all. Then again, this was Malfoy he was thinking of. Maybe he had made some progress in what he has doing... whatever that was. Harry would find out.  
. . . . . . . . . .

{No particular POV}  
The next week went by very awkwardly. Draco stalked Harry at any possible time and when he wasn't, Harry was stalking him. Draco had figured out Harry was stalking him in the first two days, but Harry was so dense that even after starting to notice the random glances they had between each other, he still didn't notice Draco stalking him as well. Draco became slightly giddy with the small amount of power he now had over the other boy.

Ron was becoming confused and slightly desperate to know why Harry was acting so suspicious of Malfoy and why Hermione was being so kind and positive towards him. It was really quite baffling. He especially worried about Hermione, for she was kind of acting as if she were under a Potion, going to study sessions with Malfoy, coming back from them at Dinner and dropping random compliments or trying to convince Ron and Harry that he really wasn't as bad as they thought. He didn't believe one word of that. He would confront Malfoy, eventually. Now was a time for worrying about Hermione and Harry's (mostly Hermione's) odd behaviour to the pompous git.

Pansy was becoming more sullen and reclusive by the day; she rarely talked and only listened inattentively when someone filled her in on the latest gossip. She defended herself and offended others, but without her old vigour and sharpness. She was a right pain to be around to Draco, but he worried about her. Would she become so depressed that she wouldn't even talk to him anymore? He sure did hope not, for she was his closest friend.

Theo and Blaise were getting more into each other and sometimes ignoring that the rest of the world was there, but Draco didn't mind. In fact, he envied them. To have such a strong bond and connection between lover and lover, he couldn't deny himself that that is what he wanted. With Potter.

________________________________________

On Wednesday, Draco got a letter from his mother telling him that his father had been released from prison. He was shocked, but not that much seeing as his father had many connections and Draco had thought he would escape imprisonment after only a short while, just not so soon. His father was also under strict house arrest with one Auror in the house at all times. His mother had said it was a right bother and complained vehemently about the man they now shared the house with. Draco also noted that she put I love you at the end of the letter again. It made him joyful, but he also became a bit suspicious to her reasoning to put this in there, wasn't saying it once enough?

The answer came on Sunday.

Near the end of dinner that day, Draco's owl came swooping down to his plate with two letters in its beak. It made a few stares come his way, as getting post was usually a morning thing. Draco gave the ones looking at him a good glare and went about in opening the more official-looking of the two letters. He knew the other one was from his mother, but what could this other one be? He carefully pulled the tip of the envelope backward and slipped the letter out of its protective barrier.

Draco.  
It is my displeasure to tell you that you are hereby disowned from the Malfoy family due to recent discoveries. You are to never have contact with myself or Narcissa from this day on. If I find out that you and my wife are in any kind of correspondence, I will not hesitate to come and hurt you until you can feel no more pain. You are no longer on the Malfoy family tree and the paperwork will be finished by tomorrow morning. Do not dare to think you can use our last name any longer. You are a disgrace to the Malfoy name and I want nothing more than to get rid of you for eternity. But I shall not do that as I am not heartless. Have a nice life, you blood traitor.

Lucius Malfoy

Draco was about to cry. No, take that back, he was about to fall on the floor weeping. He quickly stood up, not even bothering with the second note and headed for the closest completely private area. Even if he was no longer a Malfoy, he still had the pride of one. His father had found out he was gay. It was the end of the world as he knew it.

Potter didn't love him. His friends were slowly deserting him and now he didn't even have a family. The only thing he had going for him was his budding friendship with Granger, but who knew where that would end up! He found a bathroom that was completely empty and immediately started to cry over a sink.

. . . . . . . . . .

Back in the Great Hall, Pansy sat there looking stunned as she watched Draco leave the Hall. She promptly grabbed the letter, curious as to what had made her friend so upset. When she read it she gasped before handing it to Blaise. Blaise read it and Theodore looked over his shoulder, reading it at the same time. Pansy grew very enraged as she thought about Draco's father and all the things he and his son had been through, only to disown him at the thought of Draco being homosexual. It disgusted her. Had it been anyone else she wouldn't have care, but this was Draco, her Draco, you just didn't do things like this to him. It was outrageous!

Affronted, she too stood up, intending to go and comfort Draco before Theodore pulled her back down with a tug on her sleeve, a concerned look and a slow shake of his head. She sat down. If anyone knew anything about what Draco was going through right now, it would be Theo. If he said that Draco wouldn't welcome the company, she would believe him.  
________________________________________

At the table next to the Slytherins' Harry Potter stood up and before anyone could catch or stop him, he was headed out the doors of the Great Hall and into the hallway, following where Malfoy had just gone.

He kept on walking as silently as possible until he heard a small sob coming from outside a bathroom not ten feet ahead. He raced up to the door and stood there for a second, assessing the current state Malfoy was in.

The boy was looking a bit disheveled as he ran his hands through his hair, moving the perfectly placed strands to stand in random places across his head. Harry heard another sob and looked at the other boy's face in the mirror. It was red and wet and small droplets of water were rolling down the side of his cheek. Malfoy was crying. That was obvious of course, but Harry couldn't get over the fact that Draco Malfoy, git-extraordinaire, was crying. He'd seen it that day he'd pushed Malfoy into the lake, but it paled in comparison to this. That was peaceful and relaxed crying. This was loud and pained crying.

It was then that Harry remembered what he was there for. He was there to confront Malfoy, not to sit and watch him cry. But that's what he did for a few minutes; he stood a little in the doorway and watched Malfoy cry. Moaning Myrtle was there, floating over the boy in what she thought was a comforting way.

"They... they found out... Never... I'll never... they can't do this..." Were the random fragments of sentences that Harry heard coming from his mouth. Harry then took a step small forward and Malfoy lifted his head up and saw him in the mirror. He quickly turned around with a crazed and bewildered expression.

There was no time for thinking. No time for safety, Harry had to get the first shot in. Harry grabbed his wand, pointed it at Malfoy and said the first spell that came to mind. One he had seen in his Potions book but had no idea what it did.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!"


	10. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Gets Better (for most people)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *memes enthusiastically*
> 
>  
> 
> (the original post of this has a few lines of never gonna give you up at the beginning. at the time I was too young and unversed in meme culture to know the impact of this song, but it still works y'know) 
> 
> Not much of a cliff-hanger if I just post the next chapter the same day though is it lol

"SECTUMSEMPRA!"

Malfoy fell to the ground as two large cuts appeared in his face and chest and blood started to pour out of them. Harry went into panic. It wasn't supposed be that bad, but there was Malfoy, lying on the floor bleeding heavily. Harry rushed to his side, and looked at the cuts. He needed to get Malfoy to the Infirmary, and fast. The blood loss was high and the cuts were just deep enough to make it so the bleeding wouldn't stop soon.

"Oh god, Malfoy. I'm- I didn't know what it would-"

"MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!" Moaning Myrtle shrieked.

"Oh shut it, you mu- ghost." Malfoy said quietly, and he sent a silencing hex at her that worked for some odd reason. "It's fine, Potter. I probably deserved it anyway. Just get me to the Infirmary before I die. If I do die, I'd rather it not be on this disgusting floor."

"How did you get that spell to work on Myrtle?" Harry asked as he helped Malfoy up from the floor.

"I'm Draco... Malfoy, what can't I do?" he explained, hesitating slightly before saying Malfoy, but Harry guessed it was because it pained him to stand up, even if Harry was almost holding him. They started walking slowly towards the Infirmary. Malfoy hadn't tried to get rid of him yet, so Harry was just going to keep helping him until he was told to stop.

This was probably a consequence of what Hermione pointed out as his 'saving-people-thing'. He hadn't believed he had such a thing before, but if he was helping Malfoy he must. Of course, he had been the cause of the accident, so it could also be guilt, but it felt more like the first thing.

"Do you need me to carry you? You look really light-headed," Harry said cautiously, not wanting to be pushed away just yet.

"Ugh, no Ha- Potter. You carrying me would be the utmost embarrassment, for you and for me. Think of what people would-" and he promptly passed out and Harry snorted.  
"Think of what people would say if they saw you faint." He grumbled and picked him up so that he was carrying the boy bridal style. For being taller than him, Malfoy was actually kind of light; Harry hurriedly carried the boy to the Infirmary. It was still dinner so no one was in the Hallway and for that Harry was grateful.

When they got to the Infirmary, he brought Draco to a bed quickly and Madam Pomfrey rushed over to them, noticing them immediately.

"Oh my! What happened here?" She said and sent Harry a small glare. He cowered back a bit and frowned at himself.

"Well... I kind of used a spell that I didn't know what it did and then this happened. I didn't mean to do it. I would never want to hurt Malfoy so badly, no matter how much I hate him," Harry explained and didn't even try to smile or make it seem any better than it was. Pomfrey's glare got harder.

"Even if it is an accident, this kind of 'accident' deserves a punishment and you can be assured you will get one."

"I understand. I didn't think I would come out clean," he said and nodded. "Um, so, how long will it take to heal him?"

"Well, the cuts should be completely healed in the next five minutes. That one on the chest might leave a scar, though, there's nothing we can do about that. The blood... that might take a bit longer to get back. He should be out of the hospital in a few of days time. You, my dear, may want to get cleaned up. I would think you wouldn't want to go around school looking like you just killed a man."

But I almost did, Harry shivered slightly at the thought but nodded at Madam Pomfrey, giving her a quick "Yes, ma'am" before running off to the shower in the back of the room.  
He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He had more blood on him than he thought. His hands were covered in blood and there was some on his face too. His robes were almost drenched in blood. It was only then that he realised how much blood Malfoy had lost. A lot, that was all he could say. He didn't know how many pints or litres or any exact measurement, but he could tell that that large amount of loss blood was unhealthy.

Guilt hit Harry like a wave. He was the one who did this. He almost killed Malfoy. He could tell others that it was an accident, but was it really? What if he really wanted to hurt Malfoy that bad, just subconsciously? No, of course he didn't. But what if he did? He would have to go to St Mungo's mental ward, or he would send himself there. Having an unstable Boy-Who-Lived was not safe and he really didn't want to hurt anyone like that again. Except Voldemort, but he deserved it. But Malfoy... Harry didn't even know why he was crying! He wasn't a Death Eater, for Harry had checked both arms as soon as the blond had passed out, but that only served to make him feel worse. Merlin, he was in deep fault this time. How was he ever going to get Malfoy to forgive him? He had to get forgiveness or he was going to screw himself over trying to, and a guilty conscience was not something he liked living with and if he could do anything to reduce it, he would. Forgiveness was necessary at this point.

He ran a hand through his hair in annoyance and cursed. Now he had blood in his hair too. Great. Just. Bloody. Great. He snorted at the thought. Bloody, yeah, that's what this was: bloody.

He stripped and took his shower before hurrying back out to see how Malfoy was. When he got there, six people were standing by his bed. They all heard him coming and looked up, piercing him with evil glares. The people by Malfoy's bedside were Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Zabini—all to be expected—and Hermione. He was shocked to see her there, to say the least. He knew they were acquaintances... but coming to his side when he was hurt with his closest friends? Never would he have thought she'd do that. The scariest part was—aside from Parkinson—Hermione's glare was the hardest.

"Umm... Hermione?" He said stupidly.

"'Umm... Hermione?!' Is that all you can say after causing this much damage to a completely innocent and obviously upset boy?!" She shrieked. Harry was in for it, he knew it.  
"I'm sorry," he said quickly.

"You should be saying that to Draco." Parkinson practically screamed at him. "But you can't, can you? Why? Oh, right, he's passed out from blood loss." She continued, poisoned sarcasm dripping from her words like a viper's fang.

(AN: The reason I find Hermione and Pansy similar is because of things like this. They are both very loyal to their friends (Well, really only Draco for Pansy) and fight for them when their friends can't fight for themselves. They also have a great thirst for knowledge, just different kinds of knowledge. Hermione likes books and magical knowledge and flaunts it in class, while Pansy likes to gather knowledge about other people and flaunts her knowledge by teasing and taunting people.)

The both of them yelled at him and accused him and scolded him until their breath ran out, which was about after eight minutes. Harry thought Malfoy probably could have woken up from the volume of their voices. Of course, he didn't interrupt or try to disrupt them, for he knew he deserved this.

They finished and Harry apologised many times before going to Malfoy's side and sitting there with Parkinson and Hermione (the other four left after Hermione and Parkinson started yelling), Parkinson sitting in a chair and holding Malfoy's hand and Hermione and Harry stood behind her with sorrowful looks.

Two hours later, the three of them were ushered out by Madam Pomfrey and went back to their respective Common Rooms, not saying a word the whole way. When they got inside the Common Room, Hermione slapped Harry on the back of the head and fussed him out again. Ron tried to stop her, but Harry stopped him saying he deserved it. At that point she stopped yelling and sat next to him.

"Oh, Harry. I'm sorry, I understand that you probably already feel extremely guilty. But you've got to understand the seriousness of your actions and I want you to accept whatever punishment you are given." Hermione said in a calm but serious voice, looking at him sternly.

"I know, Hermione. I will." Harry said solemnly and went up to his dorm room.

Thinking about Malfoy, he went to bed and waited until all of his dorm mates (except for Ron as he had Prefect duties) had come up and gone to bed. He then got out of bed, took out his invisibility cloak, put it on and ran down the stairs and through the Common Room before quickly and quietly sneaking out of the portrait door. He quickly went passed the teachers and prefects he met on his way, and when he reached the Infirmary he walked over to Malfoy's bed, sat beside it in the chair Parkinson had sat in earlier and put his hand over Malfoy's as Parkinson had also done.

He sat there staring at the boy for a while, sometimes absently, his mind in others places, other times noticing the things about him that made him seem different than the usual Malfoy. This Malfoy seemed more vulnerable. It wasn't a bad thing. No, it was a great thing. Malfoy seemed like a normal person. Someone you could just casually walk up to and say hello. Of course, that was if you took away the fact that he was breath-takingly handsome, everyone said so, and Harry had to agree. It almost made him look un-human. Pair that with the fact that he insulted you at every turn and it was easy to hate him. But lying on this bed, sleeping, you could forget everything he had said about you in the past and see his human qualities. He didn't look normal—his Malfoy genes took care of that—but he looked like someone you could possibly be friends with. Someone who liked laughing with his friends and playing Quidditch or Chess and loved to dote on his girlfriend and just doing what he wanted without having to drive people insane with taunting and insults. Harry liked that Malfoy.

He eventually went to sleep with a small smile on his face, thinking that if Malfoy was like that he could probably see himself being friends with him. Well, it depends on what was under that Malfoy exterior, but it could probably work.

________________________________________

When Draco woke up, the first thing he noticed was that it was night time. The second thing he noticed was that he was in the Infirmary, and lastly, he felt a pressure on his hand. He looked down at it and noticed that there was hand covering his own. He looked for a body, but there was none. This confused him, so he turned on his side, careful not move his left hand, and grabbed around to see if he could find an Invisibility Cloak. He found it and followed the feeling to the edge where he lifted it up enough to see Potter's face. He smiled and shook his head. He then went back to sleep, a pain in his side compelling him to lie back down.

________________________________________

When Harry woke up again it was time for Breakfast. He didn't go, he wasn't hungry and he wanted to be there when Malfoy woke. Of course, sooner or later he'd have to go to classes, but he had two hours of Free Period this morning and he would make sure he spent it by Malfoy's side. He wanted to ask him what he could do for forgiveness and help Madam Pomfrey with whatever he could.

Madam Pomfrey soon came out and when she saw Harry, she stood still for a second.

"Mr. Potter! What on Earth are you doing here?" she asked him.

"Waiting for Malfoy to wake up, ma'am. If you want I could help you take care of... whatever you need to do to him," Harry said patiently. Pomfrey eyed him suspiciously before giving up and walking over to the bed.

"Well, I've got to give him a blood replenishing potion. I would think he'd be able to wake now, but he needs a bit more rest so I want to keep him asleep. So I would like you to gently open his mouth and keep it open as I pour it down."

Harry nodded and bent down to grab Malfoy's chin lightly. He tugged it slightly downward and it didn't budge. He tried a couple more times but it didn't work. Madam Pomfrey was glaring at him and Harry blushed, but he was hoping he wouldn't have had to do this. He put his finger up to the blonde's lips and pushed. Using his other hand he grabbed the boy's chin, and pushing both the finger in his mouth and pulling his chin, he finally opened the stubborn mouth without waking its owner.

He smiled shyly at Madam Pomfrey as she poured the liquid down Malfoy's throat, Harry holding his chin.

It was then that Hermione and Parkinson decided to come into the Infirmary. They snickered at Harry's predicament but put their eyes on Malfoy as he coughed and spluttered from the cold liquid rushing down his throat. Harry jumped back immediately and Malfoy sat straight up. He looked around him, at the shocked faces of Harry and Madam Pomfrey. He smiled wryly and sat back a little, adjusting his pillow so that he could sit at a 95-degree angle, his back not completely touching the headboard.

________________________________________

The two girls came and stood behind Harry, but Draco only had eyes for the boy sitting beside his bed. Harry gave him a nervous smile and his eyes shot up to the two girls behind him.

"Err, hi Draco. How are you?" Parkinson asked.

"Good, good. Say, Potter, what are you doing here?" Draco inquired.

"Well, I was just helping Madam Pomfrey to give you that potion..." Harry said nervously. Draco put two fingers on his lips. They felt a bit odd, as if there was a pressure on them that tingled slightly. He blushed as he realised what Potter meant.

"You mean you..." Draco trailed off, and Harry blushed as well.

"Um, well, yeah." He said, looking at his feet. The girls behind him started giggling and Draco glared at them. They stopped and Pansy's face lit-up like she just had an epiphany.  
"Oh! Draco, you left these when you ran off yesterday." She handed him both of the letters.

"Oh, right." Draco said as he took the letters, a grim look on his face. "I presume you have read them?"

"Only the opened one," Pansy said and shrugged.

"So you know about the... business with my father?" Draco put it simply and both Pansy and Granger shot him a sympathetic look.

"Actually... there's no need to read the letter..." Granger said, holding out what looked to be the Daily Prophet. Draco took it and began to read the page it was turned to—the second page. At the top of the page in large bold letters it said:

Malfoy Son Disowned

Draco gasped, but showed no other sign of emotion as he read the article.

Lucius Malfoy has recently said that his only son, Draco Malfoy, is being disowned for homosexuality. Some of you may wonder why this is, as most of our world does not care about such frivolities. Well, in pureblood families such as the Malfoys... Lucius Malfoy says he found this out by way of his wife and not his son. It seems young Draco has been hiding this from his father for years. We have also found that he has a particular person with which he shares these feelings, though the Senior Malfoy has not given us a name of this lucky person.

With Lucius having recently been released from Azkaban, one must wonder if this is a way to get his low rankings in the pureblood wizarding community back up to par with[h]is older ones. We will only know later when Lucius decides to give more information on that subject.

Right now, we can only guess on what will happen to the young Draco Malfoy, or Draco, as he is no longer Malfoy. Where will he go once the school year is done? Will he support He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Keep on reading and tomorrow we will have more information on this new turn-of-events!

Draco finished and dropped the paper to run a hand through his hair. Of course his father would do this, if only to embarrass him, he didn't know.

________________________________________

Harry picked up the paper and read.

Oh.

So that's why he was crying yesterday.

Harry gulped as another wave of guilt hit him. His stupidity must have just added gas to the fire. Malfoy must feel terrible right now.

"Umm, sorry about your dad, Malfoy," Harry said and gave Malfoy the most sincere look he could give. He saw Malfoy blush slightly and gave him a nervous smile. Harry almost blushed again, and the look on his face was kind of... cute. Wow, he never thought he'd use that adjective on Malfoy. Harry sat and stared at him in slight shock, okay, heavy shock. He’d already known Malfoy was gay, but that his father had disowned him for that. Now that, that infuriated him a bit. What father could be so cold as to practically abandon their child because they were gay? Only Lucius Malfoy.

"Oh, it's fine. I should have seen it coming from a mile away. A bit stupid of me not to." Malfoy said and gave a wry laugh.

"Well, then I'm sorry for what I did to you that got you put in the Infirmary." Harry bowed down so that his head touched the side of the bed and grasped Malfoy's hand. "I'll do anything for you to forgive me."

________________________________________

Draco looked at the boy holding his hand and bowing down before him with wide-eyes, and he couldn't help the wolfish grin that appeared on his face. He could do anything with this Potter. He only wanted forgiveness from him. Such a Gryffindor.

Anything, eh? He thought maliciously. Of course, the thoughts running through his head weren't at all malicious, and he still loved the prat for some odd reason. It was just this thing he couldn't shake off no matter what happened.

"Well, first I want you to call me by my first name," Draco said, his large grin turning into a sly smirk. Harry raised his head and eyed Draco suspiciously. "Oh don't worry; I'll call you by your first name too. See, Harry. Now say mine, Dray-co," he said, pronouncing it like he was saying it to a child. "It's not that hard."

"I can bloody well say your name," Harry said through gritted teeth. Draco laughed. It was a real laugh, something that had not issued from his mouth in a while. Once finished laughing, the three by his bedside were staring at him; Pansy in awe, Granger in bewilderment and Harry in just plain shock. That almost made him laugh again. He was a bit shocked himself, but he kept it in and gave them all a pleasant smile.

"Then say it, you're obviously avoiding it."

"Fine, Draco," Harry said. Harry did not know what that did to him, or at least he hoped the brunette didn't. He shivered slightly, hoping no one would notice his current state of slight arousal, but Pansy did. She gave him a lingering leer and a small wink. Draco glared at her before turning back to Potter.

"Now, truce." Draco said, unclasping his hand from Potter's, because that was doing nothing to help his condition. Of course, with a truce he was soon going to have Potter's hand back in his, but he didn't mind.

"What kind of truce?" Potter asked, a very smart question on his part.

"Well, how abouts we say that we get along and act cordially towards each other. You know, no more of this rival nonsense. I'll even be nice to the Weasel and all the muggleborns, if you want." Harry stared at him in shock again while the girls behind him giggled and whispered things Draco thought he probably didn't want to hear.

"You mean... wait, you do know that when I say I'll do anything for your forgiveness, and that is the best time to make me do something I don't want to?" Harry asked with a quirked eyebrow and Draco chuckled.

"Oh I know, but see, I don't want to have you hate me. I like making you mad sometimes because, well, that's fun for me, but having you hate me is a different thing completely. Plus, with this," he waved the newspaper around, "I probably need as many allies as I can get," Draco explained and Harry gave him an appraising look.

"All right, fine. Truce." Harry said, grabbing Draco's extended hand and shaking it three times.

"Good, now my last condition for forgiveness is that you go on a walk with me around the lake when I am better. Alone." Draco said, smirking as the two girls behind Harry started to laugh.

________________________________________

Harry sat there, slack-jawed, wide-eyed and unbelieving. A walk? That was all he wanted? A walk? This had to be some sort of joke.

"What's the catch?" Harry said after recovering.

"No catch. I just want to get to know my new friend and a walk around the lake is just the thing I need," Ma-Draco said.

"Friends? You want to be my friend?" Harry said. He heard Parkinson and Hermione's laughing reaching a peak.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Yes, Potter. I want to be your friend, as you so elegantly put it."

"Oh. Okay... really?"

"Yes, Harry. I would like to be your friend and I would like to go on a walk with you around the Black Lake and I swear on my pride as a Slytherin that I will not purposely harm you in any way," he said and looked at Harry pleadingly; which was not something he would normally do, so Harry relented.

"All right, fine. I'll go on your walk with you and I'll try out this truce thing and I'll call you Draco. Just forgive me, please?" Harry said.

"All right. All right. I forgive you, but could you stay in a little longer? I think I may have some business to attend to in which you are a part of. Pansy! Stop that incessant giggling this instant!" Harry smirked, thinking of how much he sounded like Professor Snape. He probably worked on that. "I do have another letter that you have yet to give me, don't I?" He inquired. Parkinson and Hermione stopped giggling and Parkinson pulled a letter out her pocket.

"Right, sorry. Here it is." Draco delicately took it from her hand.

"You didn't read this one, did you?"

"No, but Blaise and the girls in my dormitory tried to get me to open it." The girl said. Draco gave her a warm smile that could make anyone feel like jell-o, or so Harry assumed because that was how he felt.

"I'm glad I can trust you, then. Now, if Mother sent me a letter..." The blond trailed off, focusing on the letter.

________________________________________

The letter looked hurried and was obviously not her best handwriting, and there were some parts that were kind of blurry, as if drops of water had been scattered across the paper. Crying. His mother had been crying when she wrote this. She still loved him, it was a relief, but he already knew that as she had told him after he confessed.

My dearest Draco,

Your father found my stash of the letters and drawing pads you've sent me since he's been gone. I'm sorry, darling, that I could not protect you better. You deserve better than your father. Please do not lose hope, for I will do everything I can to make this less of a burden on you. You are my Young Dragon and remember that young dragons must never lose hope. Know that I will always love you and no matter what your father says, you are my son. Nothing will keep me from you. I will do everything in my power to make sure you have a new home by the end of the year and that you belong somewhere. Speaking of which, you are now the only male with Black blood in existence. Mr. Potter has gained it through the will of my late cousin, Sirius, but it is rightfully yours. I have put documents in this letter with which you can transfer Mr. Potter's 'inheritance' to your own name and you will have the Black residence and name and possessions to you. That is, of course, if Mr. Potter agrees to it, for you cannot do it without his signature. He may be hesitant to give you his signature as he was rather close to my cousin, but you will get his signature, I hope. Be strong, be brave! Dark times await you, but you will persevere, my dragon, I have faith in you.

Love,  
Narcissa Malfoy  
Your Mother, who never stopped loving you

Draco was almost in tears. She still considered herself his mother. His mother. What an honour. He had to be good now, his mother was counting on him, and she still loved him with her whole heart, giving him a chance for a new life. In his old life he had a one-way path to early death, a life of pain, regret and misery. His father didn't realise it, but he had freed Draco. He was now free to be just Draco, and not have the weight of the Malfoy name dragging him around. And Draco had just realised this. A wave of happiness flittered through him and he jumped up, grabbing and holding onto the closest thing to him, which just happened to be Potter. Harry, who had made him realise his sexual leanings and was the base of the reason as to why he was free right now. He squeezed the mightily confused teen tighter and felt him awkwardly hug back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever look back at something you made like three years ago that you're still working on and think "goddamn I left a stupid plot hole! now i have to go and address that!" Yeah, basically I suck at writing news paper which is funny because at one point in my life i wanted to be a journalist. ANYWAY, now I have to put in that they want to interview him somewhere goddammit! I can probs fit it somewhere in chapter 15.


	11. Time and How it's Spent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco hang out a lot and do weird things no friend would do (nope, just some nice fluffy shit and friendship. because friendship is important.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, I just suck at titles. Every paper I ever turn in teachers are like "give it a creative name!!!" and I'm just like 'most unoriginal boring title ever.' I mean, I used to get really upset when authors didn't name every chapter but now I get and think it's better honestly? No one really remembers chapter titles anyway. Unless they're from pjo.

A minute passed by and Draco was still hugging Harry, even though the places where he had been cut were starting to hurt. He hadn't even noticed when Pansy left and Hermione had followed quickly after, for he was too excited. This was a new start. He could be whoever he pleased. He didn't have to act cold to everyone, make fun of people he didn't want to make fun of. He could just be Draco, and right now Draco hurt. He let go of Harry and slowly laid back down on the bed, chanting "Ow, ow, ow, ooh, ow, ow, ow" as Harry helped him lay straight down on the bed.

When he was all the way back down, he looked over at a very confused Harry and smiled.

"So, uh... what was that about?" Harry asked with apprehension.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Draco replied.

"Finally realised people don't like you if you're mean to them?"

"Oh, I've always known that, but who says I want people to like me? But anyway, guess again!"

"Why should I?" Harry asked blandly.

"Because I like hearing you get wrong answers," Draco said triumphantly and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine, does it have something to do with your letter?"

"Yes and no."

"With the newspaper article?"

"Why, Potter! I never took you for one with decent guessing abilities!" Draco said in mock shock. Harry brushed it aside.

"So it does?" Draco nodded. "You're happy about being disowned?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Of course not, I love my mother; but as I am no longer a Malfoy, I don't have to act like one." Harry just stared at him incredulously. "Don't you get it? I'm free! I can do as I please! I don't have to be a Death Eater or hate muggleborns or get the best grades or do any of the things my father has pushed on me, I'm free!"

"You don't want to be a Death Eater?"

"No. Who in their right mind would want to serve that insane old man?"

"Doesn't your dad serve him?"

"First, I said who in their right mind would serve him; and second, he's not my father anymore, don't call him that."

"Oh, right. Sorry..."

"Quite all right, Potter. Quite all right." Draco said, sat up and slid off his bed. He walked hobbling off towards the door.

"Mal- Draco, where are you—"

"That is not your business, Harry."

"I really don't think you should—"

"It's fine, it's fine. You're starting to sound like your friend Granger, really." Draco said, before he was caught around the arm and dragged back to the bed, kicking and screaming.  
He was so loud that Madam Pomfrey came out of her office at the back of the Infirmary to see what was going on.

"What's all that racket?" She said, walking over to Draco's bed where Harry had body-binded him, and he was glaring at the brunette with a look meant to kill.

"He tried to leave."

"Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. He should have extreme restlessness for a while. He'll not want to stop talking and he'll want to get up and go walking to random places—which is why I didn't want to wake him when I gave him the potion. He seemed all right at the time, but now would be a good time to get him to go back to sleep. Here," she handed Harry a bottle, "this should put him to sleep, though I dare say you should have some trouble getting it inside of him. I will make this part of your punishment, but do not think you're out yet."

"I understand, Madam Pomfrey."

"Good, now get to work."

Harry did, as he turned back to Malf-no, Draco and un-binded his head. The boy was glaring at him with his jaws clenched tightly together and his lips sealed shut. Harry rolled his eyes. This was not going to be fun. Getting a stubborn, hyper-active Draco to open his mouth to let in an unknown sleeping potion? This was a good form of punishment.  
"Open your mouth." Harry said and the blond shook his head. Well, it could never be that easy, could it? "All right, if you want to do this the hard way," Harry said nonchalantly and brought his hands and face closer and closer to Draco's face. When Harry's hands were five inches away, the blonde's mouth dropped open. Harry smirked and lifted a spoon that was already in the bottle out and put it into Draco's mouth, who then closed his mouth around the spoon and cleaned off all the potion with his tongue.

His face twisted in disgust as the spoon was taken out of his mouth.

"That is supposed to make me go to sleep? I think it only made me more awake! That is the vilest... most disgusting... thing I have... ever... tasted..." He said, trailing off as he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

Harry smiled at the sleeping boy before picking up the letter on the nightstand beside his bed.

{Hermione's POV}

When Hermione saw Pansy's face as she left the Infirmary, she just had to follow her. The look on her face depicted a person full of love, sadness, desperation, jealousy and depression. She knew that look. That look was of someone who felt they would never be loved.

She followed the girl up the stairs and through hallways until they got to a secluded staircase, and Pansy sat down on the second-to-last step. Hermione sat beside her, wrapping her arm around the Slytherin's mid-back as she began to cry into her hands.

"Go away, mudblood." Pansy said scathingly, but it just made Hermione hold her tighter.

"I won't. Not until you tell me what's wrong." Hermione said soothingly.

"And why should I tell you? You're just a filthy little mudblood Gryffindor who thinks she can solve all the world problems with a few choice words. You wouldn't understand." Hermione mocked being affronted.

"Well, I just thought you might want to talk to someone about it! You know, sometimes voicing your problems usually gives you a clearer head to think about them." She paused and gazed calmly at the girl still sobbing in her arm. "You love him. You love Draco, don't you?" She said softly.

"Yes, I do. But he'll never love me back. I've loved him since third year, if you can believe that. I asked him out, he said yes and we became an item. Soon after I realised he liked Potter. It was blatantly obvious to me. Everyone else was just too stubborn to see it. I was stubborn too, though, because I tried to keep him away from Potter, and make him mine. During fourth year I saw him checking out other men—not just Potter, but Blaise and guys from other houses. It was then that I realised it was a lost cause. I really loved him, too, so I let him go, told him he was gay—idiot didn't want to know so he ignored himself and his preferences—and watched him go off and be happy. He's been so happy this year, running around after Potter and writing to his mother, but it's just hard to see them together; I'm not at all used to it. I would do anything for him. Anything. Including letting go of him and myself."

"I get that. I feel the same way about someone myself..." Hermione said and held the girl closer to her. If she hadn't heard a single word Pansy had said, she would have to believe she was in Heaven right now. Holding Pansy so close and so tightly like this, she could probably turn her head and kiss the girl right here and now, if she wanted to. Yes, she loved Pansy, but it would never happen, Pansy loved Draco. She didn't even know why she loved Pansy; the Slytherin had always been mean to her. But it was just one of those things, like Draco loving Harry, and it just kind of happened. Hermione probably didn't love Pansy as much as Pansy loved Draco, but she did love her and want her. It was like a flame, burning in her soul, desperately trying to burn away the rest of her and make her desire for the Slytherin overwhelm her. She had control of it for now, though. Her words hurt. Now they hurt more than ever, but she was learning to hide it, and that was how she kept the flame calm and the rain away as well.

She was a coward. Why couldn't she tell Pansy she loved her? She had a great opportunity to right in front of her, but she wasn't going to take it, because she feared rejection too much. She was a Gryffindor. They were supposed to be brave and courageous and look past their fears, but she couldn't. Maybe she did belong in Ravenclaw after all... No. She was a Gryffindor, proud and true. She would just have to look past this and, as the saying goes, keep on keepin' on.

"Hellloooo? Are you there? Granger! Granger! Look at me!" Pansy said, waving her hand in front of Hermione's face, distracting her from her thoughtful reverie.

"What? Oh, yes. I'm still here," Hermione blushed, not having realised she had drifted off.

"Who?"

"What?"

"Who? Who is it that you feel that way for?"

"Oh. Ron," Hermione said quickly and blushed again. It was a lie, though; she had chickened out and said the first person whose name came to mind.  
"Really? You love the Weasel? Good luck with that, honestly. He is a piece of work."

"Yeah, I know," Hermione sighed as Pansy stood up. Hermione didn't get up though; she stood and watched the girl brush invisible dirt off of herself. Pansy then did something that surprised Hermione; she got down on her knees in front of Hermione, took her hands and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you. You were right, voicing my problems did make me feel better," she said sincerely and smirked at Hermione while she stood up. "See you around, Granger."  
Hermione was in shock. She had just gotten a kiss from Pansy. A large smile spread across her face. In that moment, another part of her soul was taken by that little fire.

(* (* (* (* (* (* (* (* (* (*  
When Draco woke up again, he was all alone. He supposed Harry was in class, along with everyone else. Appalled by his earlier actions, he swore to apologise to Potter, though he had liked the hug and he did feel freer. It was nice to feel this way. And, seeing as the Black name didn't really have any standards because there were no heirs, he could create it anew. Start it off with different standards and a new reputation that he could build. Of course, it wouldn't be a family of blood traitors, but it would accept muggleborns as people and accept that they had their own place in society, unlike the Malfoys... Yes, this would be nice. And the Malfoys didn't have an heir! They would go extinct! For some strange reason, he really just wanted to crush the father who deserted him like this; and killing the family name would do it! His mother would not care all that much if the Malfoy name was destroyed, and she would probably move in with Draco when Lucius died.

Draco looked to his left and picked up his letter to read it again. At the bottom, there was a little note that he had not seen before.

Draco-

I hope you do not mind, but I read your letter. You're really lucky to have such a loving mom. I'll consider the moving of the Black name and house and other things to you, just tell me what you'll do with it and we'll see.

-Harry

P.S. When do you want to go on that lake walk? Tell me when I come back.

Harry had read his letter. Well, he was going to show it to him anyway, but... he'd have preferred to have been awake when he read it. Also, Harry was considering giving Draco the Black name! This was good news, very good news.

When did he want to go on the walk? He had thought about it, but not in that way. Sometime in the next week, or perhaps this weekend. When was the first Quidditch game? Sometime in early December... Saturday sounded nice, so Saturday it was, if Harry had nothing else to do.

"Hello, Mr... Draco," Madam Pomfrey said with a confused smile.

"You can still call me Mr. Malfoy, it won't be official until Friday, I assume." Though I'd rather you not call me that. He added to himself.

"Well, yes. All right, Mr. Malfoy, how do you feel?"

"Fine."

"Do you hurt anywhere?"

"No."

"All right, let's get you up," she helped Draco get up. "Does it hurt anywhere now?"

"Not really, it just feels a bit achy."

"Ah, well then you'll need to stay for a bit longer. I'll give you the potion again when it's time to go to sleep."

"Why didn't you just use a spell?"

"It would do you some good to get up. We don't want you to lose any muscle strength."

"I seriously doubt I'll lose of my strength staying in bed for two or three days."

"Yes, well, it doesn't hurt, you said so yourself," Draco glared at her and she gave a small laugh. "Classes will be over soon, and I'm sure your friends will be coming. You might want to fix your hair before they get here."

When Draco looked at her funnily she gave him a mirror. His hair looked horrible! He put a few spells on it to make it look a little different than it normally did, but not enough that people who didn't see him regularly would notice. The rest of him looked perfect, as it always did, so he sat and waited as patiently as he could for his friends.

When they finally arrived, he gave them all a glare for good measure.

"Nice to see you're doing better," Blaise said with an appraising look.

"I'm sorry, but I can't seem to find a moment when I have been anything but perfect," Draco gave him a confused glare.

"I can," all five of them said at once and Draco pouted.

"Name one."

"When you broke your arm after falling off your horse that one time," Pansy pointed out.

"Crying in the loo," Harry called out next.

"You were absolutely exhausted after that battling test I gave you," Hermione said and then they all started saying random things where he had been less than his name entailed.  
Just when he was about to yell at them to stop, Theo called out, "You sleep with a body pillow!"

All eyes turned on him; Harry, Blaise and Pansy's with confusion, Hermione's with amusement and Draco's with anger.

"Theodore! No one is supposed to know about that! I swear, when I am able, I will kill you." Draco hissed and Theo just smirked at him.

"Ooh, I'm sooo scared. What are you going to do? Disown me to death?" He taunted, and Draco frowned. Blaise elbowed Theo in his side as a warning.

"Don't be so rude, Theo! How would you feel if you were in his position? Anyway, is that true? Do you really sleep with a body pillow?" Pansy asked, ever the gossip-seeker, though she would never reveal this to anyone, but she still wanted to know.

"I don't know if he sleeps with it... but I gave him one last week..." Hermione said, smirking deviously, which was not a good sign.

"You gave it to him!? Please tell me it's not of you," Harry said pleadingly.

"No! Of course it's not! Gay, remember?" Draco said exasperatedly.

"Oh! Have you put an animation spell on it yet?" Pansy inquired excitedly.

"Pansy, no. Just, no." Draco said, disgusted with the thought. "I am not that much of a pervert."

"Whatever, who is it of?" Pansy dismissed.

"Is it of me? Please tell me it's not of me!" Blaise begged.

"Of course not, though you are pretty handsome."

"Back off," Theo hissed and Draco laughed at the defensive boy.

Blaise, Pansy and Harry then started to shoot out random names of boys and Draco kept denying them. Really, Blaise and Pansy should have known better! Harry, not knowing Draco fancied him, had every right to question him, though, and Draco made sure to answer Pansy's demand of "Michael Corner?" while ignoring the Gryffindor's "Is it me?".

"Enough!" Draco said in a strong, commandeering voice that made the five of them stop instantaneously and stared at him with wide eyes. "If you would please be quiet and leave so that I may talk to Harry," he said and gave Pansy and Blaise a pointed look, hoping they would understand. "Alone," he completed when no one moved towards the door. They then left at their own paces; Theo's being the slowest as he wanted to see if he could take long enough that Draco would give up and start talking while he was still there. Blaise had to drag him out of the last little bit of the door. When they were all gone, Draco returned his gaze to Harry.

"Now, I would like to answer your two questions. First, I was thinking Saturday would be a good day for our walk and if you have no other obligations..." Draco waited for Harry to answer, but the boy was staring absently at Draco's hand. Draco waved the hand in front of his face and Harry's head shot up.

"What? Oh. Yeah, Saturday is fine."

"Second, about giving the Black name and heir position to me..." Harry was looking at the ground now, looking as though he would drop into unconsciousness at any moment. "Potter? Are you all right?" Harry looked up at him and shook his head tiredly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, had to go to a meeting with Dumbledore the night before last, and last night I, well... I went to sleep pretty late..." Harry was blushing slightly by the end and Draco gave him a knowing smile.

"Well, we'll talk about the rest on Saturday. You go get some sleep, we wouldn't want our Saviour wearing himself out," Draco said, lying back down on his bed so that he faced the ceiling.

"Since when do you care?" Harry spat.

"Since you became my friend. Contrary to what people think, I am quite good to my friends." Draco said calmly, though he was slightly hurt by how fiercely Harry had said it and wondering what had caused him to change his attitude so drastically.

"If you haven't noticed, we are not friends yet."

"Ah, but I consider you my friend, even if you don't consider me one. Plus, you said "yet", so does that mean you think we could be friends sometime in the near future?" Draco said, a calm smirk gracing his lips and a hopeful gleam presiding in his eyes.

"We could. For all I know, you could be a perfect saint under your devilish skin."

"Saint? I seriously doubt it. You're right, I'm probably more of a devil anywhere I go, and that's how I'd like to keep it," Draco smirked at him again. "Anyway, go get some sleep. I can tell you need it."

"Fine. I'm leaving, okay?" Harry got up from his chair and slowly walked to the door. "Going up to my dorm to get some sleep. Happy?" Though Harry couldn't see it—he was just far enough away to miss it—Draco smiled serenely at the ceiling.

"Yes, I am very happy," he whispered so that Harry wouldn't be able to hear.

S_S_S_S_S_S_S_S

Draco was released the next day and welcomed back into Slytherin with cold and harsh words of congratulation. They thought he would be upset about being disowned, and most were confused when none of their threats seemed to get to his icy core. They didn't know that their words did hurt him, he just didn't show it. He had always been hurt when people had made fun of him in the past (which was really only Potter and his gang) and had usually acted in violence or some other form of hatred. That had to change. So it did, and Draco collected the hurtful words spewed at him by his classmates and pushed them to the back of his head, saving them to be dealt with later, in a more private environment. He found himself crying in his alcove more than once.

It was an understatement to say it was the worst week of his life. He had lost many things. His mother, his father, the place he called home, the respect from his house, the respect from any other non-blood-traitor pureblood families' children, and even Crabbe and Goyle had left him. He was constantly tossed around and called names. Now he knew what it was like to be one of the people he so constantly bullied around and he swore that he would go up to each one of them and apologise. His pride was all but diminished, but he kept strong, his mask covering any evidence of emotion when he needed it to. He was trying to fit in and just go along as he normally did—pushing people's buttons (not as far as before, but still doing it) and walking around with an air that said "I'm better than you and I know it" and such—but he was marked as different by people who didn't like different and was tormented daily for it.

But there was hope. And hope came in the forms of Blaise, Pansy and, surprisingly, Granger. Pansy soothed him when he was upset. Blaise was openly friends with him, causing him trouble of his own; and Granger always fussed Weasley out when he attempted to make fun of Draco. He was also free to act however he wanted, but that didn't mean he acted any less than the pureblood he was. It just made him less boastful and a bit more reserved. So, there was hope.

What gave him the most hope, though, was that on Saturday he would be with Harry. Just Harry. He and Harry would be alone. No one went out to the lake at this time of year because it was always so cold and the lake was almost frozen. Harry mostly ignored him and he ignored Harry, but it was a nice silence and a calm ignorance when they would pass each other in the hallway.

When Saturday came around, Draco found himself waking up extra early, prepping up for thirty minutes instead of fifteen and dressing in his finest winter clothes. He walked to the Great Hall and was the first person to sit down at his table for breakfast. Harry came down five minutes later. His hair was its normal mess and he was still wearing his overly large clothes, but Draco thought he looked stunning. Draco thought Harry always looked stunning, no matter what his clothes were like, and his eyes were so vibrant, and his hair just made Draco want to run his hands right through it to see if there was anything living in it. He gave a low chuckle at that thought.

Draco slowly raised his head and suddenly found Potter's eyes on his. His pulse sped up, and he stared with shock into those large green orbs that glowed behind the shiny lenses of his glasses. Harry nodded at him, and Draco nodded back. The boy mouthed, "Leave when I leave," and he nodded again, eyes so focused on the gorgeous lips mouthing the words to him that he barely registered what they meant. When he did, he realised that they were going to be leaving the Hall together, going the same way and not fighting. People would suspect something. No, he wasn't over thinking this, for he had suspected something himself when Blaise and Finnegan snuck out of the Great Hall together in fifth year—Draco knew Blaise had been gay since fourth year, though they never had a relationship, but it seemed too close to home—and he had been right! The Gryffindor had been Blaise's first boyfriend, but Blaise hadn't told him until Draco confronted him with his suspicions.

He wasn't the only one shrewd enough to notice things like that, because his whole house was supposed to be like that! And since they all had their eyes trained on him recently, they would have to be more discreet. He stared intensely at Harry, willing him to lift his head and look at him. He did and Draco slowly mouthed, "I'll leave first, you follow a few minutes later". Harry nodded slowly, taking time to process what had just been said, then raised his eyebrows suggestively, giving the Slytherin a leering grin. Draco raised his eyebrows in shock but Harry just laughed. Draco glared at him, rolled his eyes and returned back to his meal. When his friends arrived, they found him staring at a pile of strawberries dreamily.

"Just kiss them already!" Theo said sarcastically, sitting next to him.

"What?" Draco said dazedly, slowly turning his face to the boy next to him, who was staring at him with disbelief.

"The strawberries! You're looking at them as if you love them. If you want them, just kiss one and tell it already! I'm sure it eagerly awaits you."

"What! No. I do not love those strawberries, in fact, I hate strawberries." Draco defended himself.

"Draco, you hurt them, and they will never get over it," Blaise said and picked up one of the strawberries and gave it all of his attention. "Oh, you poor little thing. You'll never know what it's like to be loved by Draco," he kissed the strawberry, "I can sympathise with that." He bit tentatively into the strawberry. Theo was snickering and Draco was glaring at Blaise while Pansy looked absently at the Ravenclaw table.

"That's not it. Think about the date," Pansy drawled and grabbed the strawberry out of Blaise's hand. Blaise pouted as she ate the strawberry.

"It's Saturday!" Theo exclaimed, and a bright look lit up both his and Blaise's faces with excitement.

"Soooo, you and Potter gonna kiss?" Blaise crooned.

"No. If you haven't noticed, he doesn't like me. And would you please pipe down? Anyone could hear you."

"Pansy puts up a silencing shield around us every morning, if you haven't noticed. Anyway, why not? You could surprise him, confess and kiss him," Blaise suggested unhelpfully.  
"That would require Gryffindor courage and stupidity, neither of which I have. I would probably just scare him away."

"Right. Of course. You'll tell me what it's like to live in Lonelyville, won't you?" Theo teased and Blaise snickered.

"No matter what any of you say I'm still not going to kiss him."

"Suuuure," Blaise said, picking up another strawberry. Draco made a distressed noise, looked over at the Gryffindor table, and saw that Harry was almost finished with his meal and—with the way Granger and Weasel were fighting—it seemed he wouldn't want to stay much long. He got up and walked away from his table, affronted. They just couldn't let it go, could they? Draco ignored the quiet taunts coming from his house mates and walked quickly out of the entrance, down the corridor and pulled into his alcove when he reached it to wait for Potter.

When he heard the tell-tale sign of shoes, he quickly got out of his alcove, so if it wasn't Harry, the person won't see his hiding place. Fortunately, it was Harry and he caught up with him and they silently walked to the lake together.

As they neared the lake, Draco decided the silence had gone on long enough and spoke up.

"Look... Pot- I mean, Harry. The main reason I brought you out here today is because I wanted... I wanted to... apologise for... well, everything." He sucked in a large breath and bit his lip. This was going to be hard, but he had to do it at some point. What better time than now? He couldn't see Harry,—as he was walking a few feet in front of Harry—but if he could see his face, he was sure the boy's mouth would be open in shock. He snickered at the mental image that came into his head. He calmed himself, breathing in and out a few times. He turned around and shot the other boy his most apologetic—but not pleadingly, he would never reduce himself to that—gaze. Harry's mouth was closed, but he still looked a bit shocked, and it was safe to assume he had had his mouth dropped open at some point. "I'm sorry for being such an arse to you for the past... 6 years. I can't blame it on my father completely, though he sure didn't try to stop it. Mostly... it was me just being... well—"

"A git? A pompous arsed ferret? A good-for-nothing brat?"

"Well, I guess that you could put it that way..."

"No, I was being nice. But I can't really be talking, and I didn't really do anything to make it better either."

"Well, I usually started it, so it's mostly my fault."

"Yeah, true; but I didn't have to respond."

"It's only for self-defence. I completely understand why you did what you did. What I did... well, there isn't really much of a good, solid reason."

"Who are you and what have you done with Malfoy?" Harry asked incredulously and Draco chuckled. They were now at the edge of the lake, walking beside each other.

"Oh, ha ha. I simply took off the Malfoy and made him Draco. As of today, I am officially "Draco". You can't call me Malfoy, teachers can't call me Mr. Malfoy, I am only Draco. Malfoy does not exist anymore," he said and turned to start walking around the lake.

"So... it's official as of today?"

"Yes, my father got the papers all signed and turned into the Ministry. As of today, I am no longer a Malfoy."

"Oh. All right. You sound... happy about that. Mind if I ask why?"

"I'm not happy. I'm confused. I thought it would be an experience of freedom, to be away from my father. And I think I know what I want to do with my freedom, but... achieving what I want with my freedom is going to be... difficult, at best. There are also... other things that came with this that are unwanted."

"Being pushed around by your classmates because you're gay, penniless and family-less?"

"Will you stop interjecting!" Draco almost-yelled at the other boy, who just chuckled; Draco gave an exaggerated sigh and continued, "I wasn't going to put it so bluntly, but yes. Basically, I'm being... well, what you said. And anyway, I've decided to change. I'm not going to react violently to anything people shove at me. I'm going to take it and shove it all back around to them when the time comes. They'll get theirs, they will, but they'll have to wait," he said and grinned evilly, while Harry just snorted.

"Glad to see at least some of the old Malfoy exists."

"Perish the thought. I might change, but I will always seek vengeance. I'm a Slytherin, nothing will ever change that." Draco said superiorly.

"Hmm, weren't you going to talk to me about the, uh, transfer—"

"Of the Black name and heir title onto me?" Draco said shortly and Harry glared at him. Draco smirked, not so much fun when it's being directed at you, eh, Potter?  
"Yes, that is exactly what I was going to say," Harry said through gritted teeth.

"Hmm, yes. I do recall wanting something like that..."

"Do you still want it?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing, it would give me a place to go when school ends. It would give me a place to belong, a sense of family of sorts..." Draco paused for dramatic effect; he could tell Harry wanted him to say something completely 'Malfoy', "and to have the means for extracting my revenge on the ones that will—in the future—and have—this past week—hurt me." He grinned evilly, imagining his precious revenge.

"Of course. And what would you do with the Black name? What side would you be on?"

"Well, I would be neutral, as much as possible. I would support whichever side my closest friends or partner is on. Ah, just because Pansy, Blaise and Theo usually side with the Dark Lord, does not mean I would." Draco said when he saw Potter quickly open his mouth to interject. "I also said partner; and you never know who your partner will be." With each word of that last sentence, he subtly moved closer to Harry until their shoulders were brushing, which Harry really didn't seem to notice as he was too deep in thought. "And as for your first question, I answered that in the "Why?" mostly, but if you'd like to know long-term, I'll tell you."

Draco turned to look at Harry and his breath caught slightly in his throat when he saw Harry's eyes staring straight into his, not a foot away. Draco suddenly felt his face heat up and quickly backed away from Harry, turning his head down so the other couldn't see the blush covering his face. The other boy nodded and Draco gathered his will to talk.

"Well, in the future I plan to teach my children how to be proper purebloods, but I will not teach them to hate Muggleborns or muggles in general, but just try to avoid bringing their culture into ours. I will teach them the proper way to behave as a pureblood, like my mother tried to teach me. My father's ways were just a... kinder way of teaching me what the Dark Lord wanted and would have taught me if I was, well... you get the point."

"Wizards can't have children, can they?" Harry asked, coming out from his thoughtful reverie. Draco just rolled his eyes.

"Is that really what you got from that miniature rant?"

"Um... yes?"

"Ugh, Potter- sorry, Harry you are just so... dense. Whatever. No, men cannot have babies. Yes, two men can adopt children." Draco said exasperatedly.

"Oh, sorry. I still don't know everything about wizarding culture and there're so many things I thought impossible that happen here that it... that it maybe could be possible for men to have children."

"Well then. That has now taken the number one spot on my priority list: "Teach Harry Potter about wizarding culture." That should be fun." Draco smiled brightly and Harry groaned.

"More studies? I don't think I could do any more studying or my head will explode."

"And the year's not even half way over yet. Shame, we all thought you would defeat the Dark Lord, but if a load of homework can take you down..." Draco had trailed off because Harry was glaring at him.

"Do you want to finish that sentence?"

"I do, but out of respect for your wishes, I won't."

"Good. It'd be the last thing you ever said."

"My, my, is that a threat I hear? Getting feisty, are we. Here I was thinking we had something going, planning out our future together and you just go on threatening me. How very unsportsmanlike of you."

"You started it."

"True. Now, onto more important matters. So? Do I fit your criteria?"

"For now. I think I'd like to get to know you a little better first. See if you're worthy to wear my godfather's title and all."

"I understand. My mother may have acted like she didn't care about her cousin's death, but she mourned. In her own way." After that they talked pleasantly, occasionally having to threaten each other to stop saying what they were saying, but besides that they got along swell. Draco tried to teach Harry little bits about the Wizarding World when he brought up something and Harry didn't understand. Harry talked a bit about the Dursleys and Draco talked about his father who had been a god father, but often cold and distant and rarely showing Draco any kind of acceptance or approval. They found out a lot that they would not have guessed about each other if the other had not told them.

"And my favourite one was about the three Peverell brothers. Outsmarting death. It always seemed like such an amazing conquest to me. The perfect Slytherin, that Ignotus. You know, some people say they're real, call them the Deathly Hallows. If you own all of them you become the Master of Death. At the time it seemed like it would be such a huge honour, but now I think it'd be too much work. You know what I mean?" Harry nodded and gave a hum of agreement.

They had been talking about the children's book: The Tales of Beetle the Bard for five minutes now. Draco telling the name of a story, Harry guessing what it was about and Draco correcting him. It was quite pleasant.

"Then, when I was nine... my father said I was too old for the book. He took it, tore it in half and threw it in the fire. Along with all my other children's books. The next day we went out and bought a whole new collection of non-fiction texts that mostly had to do with Potions," Draco finished glumly.

"Oh, sorry to hear about that. I didn't have barely any books at all. I mostly checked them out from the school library, but I had to give them back two weeks later and I usually got so many that I couldn't read them all in one week."

"Why don't you do that now?" Draco gave Harry a knowing smirk.

"B-because! There is no fiction in the library!"

"Yes there is. I get fiction books from the Library all the time!"

"Really? I've only ever seen informational books."

"Of course! What kind of library doesn't have a fiction section? You probably haven't been because you only go with Granger. The girl seems to have a strange obsession with that one book... what's it called? Hog-"

"Hogwarts: A History." Harry finished for him. "Yeah, she quotes it a lot."

"Do you think that she hears quotes from it in her sex dreams? I wouldn't be surprised." Draco drawled casually. Harry blushed deeply and Draco had to hide his smirk. "What? Have you never thought about those kinds of things?"

"Not really... especially not with Hermione, I mean, just... ugh." He shivered as if he had just eaten rotten escargot and Draco did smirk this time. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Talk like that. Talk about sex so casually."

"Oh, well, it's one of the perks of being gay. You see, I really don't care about girls' sex lives. Guys... not so much. When I... oh god. No, just no."

"What?"

"Weasel. Dear god, the mental images. They make me nauseous." Draco doubled over and Harry laughed as he helped him stand up.

"I think I would have the same reaction if I thought things like that."

"Hmm."

________________________________________

They walked in silence for a while after that, both in their own thoughts. From Draco's disgusted scowl, Harry could tell he was still berating himself for letting those images in his head. Harry, on the other hand, let images of what Draco and Ron would look like holding hands and talking civilly run through his head. It was hilarious, until he pictured them kissing. That made a hot blush run through him and he tried to stop it before it got worse, to no avail.

Then he thought of Draco and Ron doing some heavy petting in a hallway, of them snogging intensely in an alcove, and then the worst image, Ron was hovering over Draco, both wearing only school uniform pants on Neville's bed in their dorm. He shook his head. No, this is disgusting. This was not the right way to go. But when he let his mind trail back to a supposedly different place, he found it the same, but worse.

The boy on top was slowly morphing, the red hair turning into something darker and the body was getting leaner, and Ron's blue eyes turned into a vivid green he knew only as his own. He gasped a tiny bit; the one hovering over Draco was now him! Thought-Harry leaned down and kissed Thought-Draco slowly, no tongue, no head-turning, just a long, slow, sensual kiss that had Thought-Draco lifting his arms around Harry and pulling him closer. Harry couldn't look away. He was enraptured. He should look away, he really should. Draco wasn't even his friend! ...Yet. But still! It would be worse if he was his friend. Which if he really thought about it—which he couldn't, but he still couldn't take his mind away from that image—Draco and him really were friends now, and Draco knew some things that even Ron and Hermione didn't know about him and the Dursleys. Even so, this was wrong. Draco was his sort-of friend! One simply doesn't think about their friends this way! Plus, he wasn't even gay! But all that didn't matter, for he was lost in his own mind. Lost as Thought-Harry started to softly kiss down Thought-Draco's neck and across his slightly protruding collar bone and down his slim but toned chest...

"Harry! Potter! Hello? Are you dead?"

"Wha-what?"

"You're drooling."

"Oh, I am?" He quickly wiped his mouth as Draco smirked. Harry glared at him and started walking again. He hadn't even realised he had stopped until he started walking again. Draco soon caught up with him, still wearing an arrogant smirk.

"So... who were you thinking about?"

"Who said I was thinking about anyone?"

"I did; and your blatant denial has proven me right. Ha! So, who?"

"None of your business."

"Oh, but now I'm really curious. People with secrets always have something to hide." Draco grinned mischievously.

"Sure... so, about this moving the Black inheritance I gained to you... is it hard?"

"No. It just takes a lot of signed papers and a really long time to analyze them and such. Takes about two months."

"Really? Why does it have to be so long?"

"Well..." and he started rambling on a about all the legal processes and how it was a miracle his mother got papers for it so fast and that would usually take two weeks and so on and so on. Well, at least that took his mind off asking any questions for a while.

When they got back to the entrance to the school, they walked back to the school together and Draco planned another meeting.

"So, I was thinking maybe we could meet in the Library tomorrow and I could show you the fiction section."

"Sounds good, see you later."

"Goodbye. Oh, and Harry? Nice change of subject, very Slytherin of you, but I'm still going to figure out who you were thinking about." Draco said with a smirk before walking off, leaving a very nervous Harry in his wake.

Shit. He can't find out about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooooong chapter, but I hope you had some fun. Only three more chapters til this is caught up with the ff.net version!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession: when i started this story i had no idea what was going to happen so i made the summary purposely vague and now i don't have the heart to change it

Two weeks later Hermione, Draco, and Harry were all sitting in row 3-A of the Library reading and studying or doing their homework. Hermione was, of course, the one studying, Harry was reading a new book he had found in the newly discovered fiction section and Draco was doing his Herbology homework (which he really should have done earlier because it was due tomorrow). The two weeks had passed with many trials for Draco, but at the same time he found himself happier than he had ever been, he was getting to spend a lot of time with Harry and he was really friends with him, he had even gotten the boy to laugh a few times. No, he had not gotten one of those brilliant smiles he always gave Ron and Hermione, but he was working on it. He has also become very good friends with Granger, whom he had started to call Hermione, and they had regular study sessions with Pansy and/or Harry joining them.

Today was a day when both of them had come and Pansy was just coming around the shelf with a stack of books—that had probably come from the fiction or history section—piled in her hands. She laid them on the table next to Harry and sat down. Her and Harry didn't really get along well, but you couldn't say it was for lack of effort. This pile of books was probably her contradiction of Hermione's presumptuous statement "you don't read much anyway."

"There. These are all of my favourite books. See? I have read a lot. Well... not a lot, but I read more than enough!" Pansy said.

"Okay, what are your favourite books?" Hermione questioned.

"Well, this one is my all-time favourite book," she said, holding up Inside the Walls of Troy by Clemence McLaren.

"That's a muggle book! I've read that book!" Hermione exclaimed and Pansy blushed.

"Yes, it's a muggle book but don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my reputation. I was kind of hoping you wouldn't notice... Well, anyway the next book is" she prattled on about all the books in the pile. Hermione payed close attention to all the books she listed but Harry and Draco went back to their work.

And so the days passed, Harry, Hermione, and Ron spending time together during the day and in the evenings Ron went off with Lavender as Hermione and Harry went to the Library with Draco. Ron, of course, did not understand why they were spending so much time with the ex-Malfoy and often got into arguments with Hermione who always shouted back at him, asking him why he was spending so much time with Lavender instead of with them.

"Because she's my girlfriend!" Ron would shout, which always made Harry and Hermione snort derisively.

"Well, even if she is your girlfriend, you could at least try to spend a little more time with us! The time we see you is getting shorter each day!"

"Well I would spend more time with you if you weren't spending so much time with Malfoy!"

"First, he is no longer 'Malfoy' and you really can't call him that any more, and we are spending so much time with him because he's actually being kind to us, unlike you whom I argue with every time I see you and I'm telling you I'm getting really tired of this!"

"Malfoy? Being kind? Sounds unlikely. Harry, is he actually being nice or is her head just messed up?" They both glared at him with the anger they felt towards each other.  
"Please don't bring me into this," Harry pleaded but they just glared harder. "Okay, fine, she's right he's actually being nice and it's kind of fun talking to him, I guess. Well, better than listening to you two argue, and he has a pretty good sense of humour, even if it is a bit dark."

"See, he's being nicer than you and if you would just accept that and be nicer to us and be with us more often, we wouldn't be in this situation! Yes, if you do decided to spend your time with us and your girlfriend, we would still hang out with Draco, but I'm sure he wouldn't bother us unless your snivelling little bitch of a girlfriend gave him a headache!" she shouted and everyone in the Common Room was staring at her in shock. Hermione had never talked about anyone that way before and Harry could see her eyes well up with tears right before she ran out of the room, Harry right after her.

Arguments like that one went on daily until the time had come for Christmas break. Hermione had gone back to spend Christmas with her family and Ron did the same, but Harry was staying at Hogwarts to make sure Draco didn't get into too much trouble; people were still bullying him and would take any chance they could to hurt him. So Harry decided to stay back and 'protect' Draco, though Draco didn't like that word much and did not think of it that way.

They spent the break playing Quidditch, talking, going to Hogsmeade, and finishing their Christmas homework—which was really the worst kind of homework. On Christmas morning, Harry woke up and found his usual Christmas presents under the common room tree: a set of books from Hermione, a blue scarf with his initials at the ends from Mrs. Weasley, a letter of apology and some stuff from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and from Remus a new pair of Quidditch gloves. He went down to the Great Hall and saw Draco waiting for him outside.

"Hello, how has your morning been?" Draco greeted.

"Pretty good, Get any good presents?" Harry replied.

"No, not really. Did you?"

"Well, Remus gave me some new Quidditch gloves that were pretty nice, but besides that, nothing far from usual."

They walked into the great hall and saw that only four people were sat at the table were the feast was being held. Harry and Draco sat across from them and they stopped their chatter to look at the two. A Hufflepuff questioned them, asking why Harry had been hanging around Draco so often and why he had stayed for break when he could have gone back with his friends. Harry explained Draco's predicament—even though the four already knew it—and the four went back to their conversation, including Harry but mostly ignoring Draco. Harry saw that Draco looked left out and silently encouraged him to speak up. He did and after he had made them laugh, they accepted him into their conversation. The six of them finished their feast happily and Draco felt a sense of belonging that he had not felt since he first started his friendship with Pansy.

After the Christmas feast, Harry and Draco went to Hogsmeade which was not very busy as most people were at home celebrating with their families. They walked around and after a while they went into Honeydukes and Harry bought Draco a lot of candy.

"Here, it's a Christmas present. I didn't really have time to do much else, sorry..." Harry said, scratching the back of his head in nervousness.

"It's fine, don't expect anything in return though, I don't really have much money," Draco said, looking down at his feet, not knowing whether the emotion he was feeling was embarrassment, sadness, or anger.

"Oh, right. Sorry, didn't mean to bring that topic up..."

"No, no, it's quite all right. About time I got over it anyways." Draco said and Harry gave him a sad look, wanting to pursue the conversation farther, but not really wanting to make Draco have to think about it more.

They left the store and went back to Hogwarts and down to the dungeons so Draco could put away his gift and retrieve a letter he was going to send his mother. As they were going to the Owlery, Harry thought about Draco and all the things he was going through and how truly strong he must be to not have broken by now. He had underestimated the boy, pegging him as a coward who would run away whenever the going got rough, but Draco was still here and he was still fighting even when things had become as tough as they could have for him. Harry stared at the boy, contemplating their friendship and such as he readied an owl that wasn't his (but still listened to him for some reason). He walked over to Draco who was now staring out at the bird travelling into the snowy air.

"You know, sometimes I take it for granted, but this place is really quite beautiful," Draco said. "I guess that I should feel really grateful that I get to stay at a wonderful place like this, but when I'm around by all these people that hate me all the time it's really hard to appreciate it. I understand why they hate me, and they have full right to treat me this way, but it makes me feel like shit. Not just because the things they do or say hurt, but that they also know that pain and I that I inflicted it on them, it just makes me think. And when I think about it, I really regret it, but they would probably never accept an apology from me, and they deserve more than an apology. But I can't do anything more than an apology, really and I... it hurts. Knowing that that's how they felt and that I can never make it up to them. Honestly, I am surprised you accepted my apology. I just... I don't really know what I'm doing anymore..." he trailed off and when Harry looked at him he was crying. He really didn't know what to say, so he just pulled him into a one-armed hug and he rested his head on his shoulder as he thought of something to say.

"Of course I would accept your apology. Of course, at first I'll admit I was rather hesitant and was only going along with it because of what I had done to you, but I think if I would ever regret it, I would have started by now. Also, right now you're going to keep on being the strong and resilient person I've seen you be these past few weeks. And when school ends you'll come with me to the Black house and... well, we'll figure that out when the comes," Harry said confidently. Draco looked over at him with a small smile on his face and tears streaking down. Harry took the hand that wasn't on Draco's shoulder and wiped the tear stains off Draco's cheeks.

"Really, you shouldn't be crying you are too good for that," Harry said and kissed Draco's nose. He kissed his cheek and then he hesitated before he kissed him on the lips. There was no hesitation from Draco's side, he savoured it all while it lasted, which wasn't long. It was quick but full of passion and emotion that could not be spoken any other way. There were no sexual intentions, just an outpouring of emotions from one to another. When it was over, the blush that they had both gotten from the cold was deeper and darker than before and neither of them could look at each other from embarrassment. They went to the Quidditch pitch with minimal talking and eye contact.

As they began to play, the tension in the air seemed to dissipate and they played each other for the snitch as intensely as they would have if it was the World Cup. After a little while the four people from breakfast came out and cheered them on, the three Hufflepuff's cheering for Harry and the single Ravenclaw rooting Draco on and providing a small jar of blue flames. Afterwards—with a score of 7-5 with Harry winning—the six of them went to eat dinner in the Great Hall and Draco and Harry successfully ignored the topic of the kiss they had shared. It wasn't until they were about to part for the day when Harry brought it up again.

"Draco," Harry said as they reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

"Yes?"

"You know, we really can't just pretend that what happened in the Owlery never happened. I mean... I don't want to, really and I'd really appreciate it if you- I mean we talked about it and we can sort it all out, because... well, I don't know but let's just not forget about it."

"I understand, and I think so too. But first we should think about... things," Draco said. "Just... one question," Harry nodded. "Do you regret it?"

"Not really," Harry replied, making Draco smile in relief. "You?"

"Not at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIT GOT SERIOUS. actually it didn't, not yet anyway. i promise, though, shit will get serious very soon (maybe in chapter 14?). also: cassandra and helen are the best lesbians. but. all lesbians are pretty great.


	13. Finally?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure they become a thing in this chapter. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAN. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I PUT A CHAPTER TITLES ON ONE OF THESE? i swear they all have them and they are generally kind of clever... i think?

As soon as he got in his room, he squealed. This had been the best. Day. Ever. Harry Potter had kissed him? Best Christmas present ever. He was so happy he jumped on the nearest bed and held one of the pillows so tightly if it had been a human it probably would have died. He felt so giddy and excited that he just smiled and smiled for god knows how long. He was so happy. Harry didn’t regret the kiss. Harry had kissed him and he hadn’t even needed to initiate it. Harry had kissed him. He suddenly found that he didn’t care at all about his father or the people bullying him or any of this crazy nonsense going on in this world, all he could think about was Harry. 

He was so totally and completely head-over-heels in love at this point and everything about him was perfect, even his less-than-perfect kissing abilities (Draco assumed that he himself was not very good as he’d only ever kissed Pansy once and it hadn’t been very pleasing). It was a million times better than anything he’d ever experienced and he was over the moon. But there was something even more pleasing about this situation and it was that now Draco had a chance. A chance to be with Harry. Maybe he even reciprocated his feelings. 

It was when he thought that that he sat up, realizing what he had been doing. Squealing like a little girl? So not manly, Harry would never be with a man who squealed like a little girl. He stood up and paced around the room as he contemplated his relationship with Harry. Was Harry gay? No, even if he was not it wouldn’t matter, he could be bi or pan and still like Draco. He grinned as he thought about the prospects. Harry could actually return his feelings. Although he had always acted confident about it happening, he’d never actually though it would happen. He thought he would be condemned with the awful crush for the rest of his life or some similar sick punishment.

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

Harry was confused. He didn’t know how to feel, but he had promised he would think about it so he would. It was better to get it all straightened out anyway. He had kissed Draco. Kissed him. And it had been nice. Very nice. He didn’t ever think kissing his friends would ever feel so nice. Maybe he should try it more often? No, this would only be for Draco. It would be weird with anyone else. But why? Why just Draco? Hermione was very pretty, so was Ginny, and heck even Dean Thomas was a pretty handsome devil. But he didn’t want to kiss any of them. He could chock it up to being swept up in the moment, but he knew it wasn’t that, he had wanted to kiss him all day. 

Did that mean he liked Draco as more than a friend? Probably. But that brought another question to his mind. Was he gay? Probably not. He was probably bi or pan.

Anyway, did Draco like him? Considering that he’d kissed back, it was weird to think he wouldn’t. He also said he hadn’t regretted it, so that had to count for something, right? Mmmmh, he most likely liked him back, but Harry would definitely ask before doing anything else, he didn’t want to take advantage of thoughts that might even be true. What would they be if they were together? Boyfriends? Did he want that? He didn’t know. Was he even prepared for that kind of relationship? To what extent did he want this relationship to go?

Not much less confused than he’d been when he started thinking about it, he went to his dorm and tried to sleep as best he could (hint: it didn’t work).

In the morning he was tired and groggy and had barely gotten any sleep. He spent most of the night thinking about the situation with Draco and had not come to a single conclusion. He really wished Hermione were here so he could talk to her about this, she always knew what to do.

He walked down to breakfast and saw Draco already sitting down. He smiled at Harry and gave him a wave. Harry’s heart skipped a beat and he walked a bit faster to go sit next to him. He looked so pretty when he smiled. Harry gave him a small, nervous smile back as he sat down and saw a look he thought might be doubt flash his eyes before he smiled even more and began eating.

There was relative quiet at breakfast with only the two Hufflepuffs occasionally chatting and giggling. And it gave Harry time to adjust his thoughts and hope that maybe being around Draco would help him understand how he felt. As soon as he’d finished his breakfast he grabbed Draco’s wrist and pulled him out of his seat.  
He had no idea what he was doing, but he dragged Draco through the halls, a reckless smile plastered on his face. He didn’t know anything right now. Anything but that he wanted to know. He needed to know.

“Potter!” Draco yelled, and Harry knew he would be in trouble when he stopped, but that just made him want to run faster. “What are you doing?” He hissed.

“I don’t know!” he shouted back, giving a short laugh. He ran them all the way down to the alcove. That little alcove that Draco seemed to come to when he was upset.

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

Draco was so confused. Adrenaline was pumping through his system. He was scared. He was excited. But mostly just scared. What the hell was Harry doing? This felt like he was some princess being whisked away on a horse by some knight that happened to be just a bit mad. 

When they stopped running they were in his alcove. Harry grabbed his other wrist and gently led him in. Once inside he moved his hands up to Draco’s upper arms and pulled him closer. The boy was looking at him with determination in his eyes. Draco put his arms around Harry’s waist to show his reciprocation of the gesture.

“Harry—“ He started.

“I don’t know. I can’t—I don’t know. I tried to think about it last night. I tried really hard to sort it all out, but I guess I’m just too stupid to understand even my own feelings.” He chuckled and Draco’s face grew heavy with concern. “I’m trying, I promise, and I know that I think of you differently than my other friends. I mean, not just because you used to be my biggest rival and all, but you’re just different—it’s hard to explain. You’re just—well, I would never kiss any of my other friends, you know?” He looked intensely at Draco who nodded for him to continue.

“I’ve never felt this way, I’m so confused, and I don’t know what to do I mean, on one hand, I think I probably like you as more than a friend, but on the other hand, I’m scared. I’ve never been in a relationship that ended well, much less one with a boy. I’d never even thought of being attracted to men until I found out you were gay. And now, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I need to know though—do you want us to be in a, uh, relationship?”

Draco didn’t know how to answer. It could end horribly no matter what he said. He looked away from Harry and his pleading eyes and bit his lip. The way Harry had presented this was so nebulous, he had no idea what would happen. Honestly, anything could happen. What was really the point in lying then? There was absolutely no chance for him then. He might as well just tell the truth. He looked back up at Harry and tried to look as happy as he could. 

“God, Harry, that was probably the most confusing thing you’ve ever said. But yes, I would love to be with you.” He answered and saw Harry’s eyes light up.

“Then I’ll try to be ready for you as soon as possible. I still need to sort some things out before I can fully commit, but I know I can and I will. For you.”

“Harry, I don’t want you to force yourself—“

“Force myself? Why on earth would I be doing that? Honestly, I just need to talk to Hermione, she knows how to deal with these kind of things much better than I do.” He leaned towards Draco, moved his hands around his waist, and laid his head on Draco’s shoulder. It was so nice, Draco wished it could be like this all the time. He moved his hand up to Harry’s head and ran his fingers over the messy locks. “I’m just not completely ready yet, but I will be soon. I promise.”

“That’s good enough for me.” They stood there leaning against each other for a while, just kind of appreciating the other was there. After a bit, Harry raised his head and put a hand on Draco’s cheek.

“I may not understand my feelings yet, but I know that I never want you to leave my side. You are brilliant and handsome and you have the best sense of humour, you are everything a person could wish for in a partner. It is so lucky that we have gotten this far. That we even started off as rivals, and now look at us! Practically confessing our love to each other, it’s quite ironic really. I want you to….” He trailed off and stared into Draco’s eyes.

Draco had no idea what he was going to say, but he decided in that moment he didn’t really care and kissed him. The second time was probably even better than the last as Harry put more passion into it, pushing his hands into Draco’s hair and pushing Draco back until he was against the wall. Draco thought of the first time Harry had seen him here, crying over a love he thought would never come. But here he was, not entirely there, but getting so much closer. He smirked against Harry’s mouth and Harry pulled back.

“What are you smirking at, you sly little Slytherin?” He asked.

“Oh, me? Why I was just wondering why such a devil like yourself would be trying to ruin my innocence without even givin’ me a ring to put on my dainty finger.” He tried, and failed, to imitate one of those girls he’d read about in one of Hermione’s muggle books. Harry looked at him bewildered but just chuckled and rolled his eye.

“You’re the one who started it.”

“Oh, did I? Then I guess I can’t very well let you finish it.” He put his mouth back on Harry’s and they continued their weird make-out session until Draco stopped it, claiming he was parched.

The rest of Christmas break continued with them being together all the time, but never really as a couple. More as good friends, closer than ever. They played Quidditch, did homework, hung out around the lake, and Draco even let Harry inside the Slytherin common room once or twice, since no one was there to object. They didn’t bring up their relationship or kiss after that one time, but Draco got the feeling that their relationship, no matter how Harry decided, would never be the same again. They were closer, that much was obvious. And Harry would randomly touch Draco or do weirdly intimate things without even thinking about it. Draco hoped that Harry would be able to sort out his feelings and be with him because, god, it was so great to have him just being so close. He enjoyed this too much to ever see it go. 

But at night the worries would get to him. What if Harry decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship? What if he decided that they could no longer even be friends? It seemed likely to him at night, alone in his bed. He never once took his Harry pillow out from under his bed, it wasn’t real, it couldn’t cure his worries, and it could never love him. So he ignored it. Left it to sit in the dust that gathered under his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma not post the next chapter for the next couple of weeks because of... reasons.
> 
> Please note: ABBA. Now for webassign!


	14. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco is paranoid, Harry is hopeless, and Hermione is done with the bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha basically Harry is a stupid piece of shit and he who says otherwise has obviously never read the book. Draco is erratic and his behaviour isn't entirely rational, but at this point can you really blame either of them? They're just a couple of messed up kids in a messed up world.

Draco had had enough. Christmas break had been over for two weeks and he was tired of waiting for Harry to answer him, to be ready for him, he had waited long enough. Surely the boy would have an answer by now. He was tired of watching Blaise and Theo sitting by the fire together, waiting for Pansy to talk to him, reading books in the Library with Hermione. He was sick of it all.

He didn’t want to love Harry anymore. He didn’t. He had decided it. And he was right in his mindset, Harry had almost killed him for Christ’s sake! Why should he love a man who almost killed him!? Surely that was a form of abuse or something. He was goddamn tired of waiting for a boy who would never love him back, for someone who made him wait for almost a month while he “sorted out his feelings.” Sorting out feelings just didn’t take that long! It took maybe a week, maybe another day or two, but never three and a half weeks! That was just too goddamn long.

Harry didn’t love him. He was just going to have to accept that and move on with his life. But first, of course, he was going to tell him this. Just because he felt like he needed to see the look on his face. Definitely not because he wanted Harry to just get out with it. 

All week he had been caught up in his thoughts, thinking about all the possibilities, constantly worrying about whether Harry would say yes or no and his love faded. The amount of times he saw Harry dwindled. The words they said got smaller. Their lingering touches stopped lingering. Until eventually Draco had come to this conclusion: love didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered. Draco was a small piece of dirt in a large field full of beautiful flowers. He had no friends anymore, no one who loved him, no family, no place to belong. At one point, after he and Harry had kissed that first time, he thought maybe he was a seed. Maybe he just hadn’t had his chance to bloom yet. Everything seemed perfect. But it wasn’t. It never was. Perfect didn’t exist. Love was pointless. Love was pointless if no one ever returned what you gave.

Maybe it was the season. Maybe the cold darkness outside had sunken into himself, penetrating his very core, but it felt like more than that. The people around him had stopped bullying him, but now everyone just kind of ignored him instead. At first he was pleased, but then he began to feel the utter terror of being alone. When no one noticed you, when no one even gave you the time of day, said “bless you” when you sneezed, or even waved in the hallway, did you really exist?

These thoughts plagued him. All the people he had once considered friends were all caught up in their own lives or despised him. He had nowhere to go, no hope but for the small light inside his heart being kept by Harry Potter. But that light was gone now. And he needed to get rid of the lantern, so that it could never return. 

He walked quickly and angrily over to Harry as the period they were in ended. 

“Hello, Potter,” he said with great malice, enjoying the way that Potter flinched.

“Uh, hi, Draco, it’s been a while,” He said meekly.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed. Would you like to take a walk?”

“Uh, sure?” He sounded very concerned, but followed Draco as he went down to the lake.

When they got there, Draco stopped in front of the tree where Harry had pushed him in the water earlier that year.

“I’ve been thinking, and I thought that I’m done waiting. I’m done waiting for some sort of answer from you. So I’ve decided that whatever you decide doesn’t matter, I’m not going to be with you.”

“Wh—what? Look, Draco, I’m sorry for making you wait it’s just that I’m so busy in the evenings with Dumbledore and Hermione is acting weird and with all that and homework I don’t really have time for this kind of thing—I’m just, ugh, I can’t do it.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t even want to be together? Well, that certainly makes my life a lot easier—“

“NO! I’m not saying that at all. I want to be with you, Draco. I want to be your boyfriend and hold you and kiss you, and love you… I love you, Draco, I really do.” Draco’s body went rigid. He really hadn’t expected that at all. But, still, he had to stick with this.

“Well that’s too bad, Potter, because I don’t love you. Not anymore.” He hissed, all the pain and anger he could gather going into the words. Harry looked shocked, as he well should be. Draco turned and walked away. “Goodbye, Harry,” he said as an angry tears gathered in his eyes.

He wanted to cry. That had been so much harder than he thought it would be, but if he was going to stop himself from disappearing, it needed to be done, he couldn’t stand waiting anymore. He needed to find a new place to cry. His alcove wouldn’t work, Harry would just find him, and he would almost definitely come looking for him. Instead he went up to his room and charmed his curtains to hide him.

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

He quickly hurried after the pale boy, trying to catch up, but he was already far gone by the time Harry tried. He broke down onto his knees in the middle of the hallway, putting his head in his hands he screamed.

Why did he have to be so slow? Why couldn’t he just accept it? Why was he just so goddamn stupid? He’d had such a good thing right in his hands and he’d just blown it all away. So stupid. What an idiot. He couldn’t have just goddamn fucking accepted it. Looked Draco right in the eyes that day and just blurted out any thought he’d had, about how beautiful he was, how funny, how smart and perfect and amazing and gods he was so stupid. No, he hadn’t done that, he hadn’t said a single thing, just let him go.

Honestly, it was probably better this way. Someone as stupid and awful as him didn’t deserve such an amazing partner. No, otherwise he would just go out to war, get himself killed, and leave Draco alone anyway, he deserved better than that. He deserved someone who would always be there for him and not just make him wait for fucking ever. Someone who didn’t have fucking Voldemort in his head and fuck. He was so messed up. He was such a messed up person. He didn’t even deserve to be alive. Maybe he should just deliver himself on a silver platter to Voldemort. That was starting to sound like a good idea.

He lightly felt something tapping on his shoulder and turned around to see a younger student, god knows what grade, looking at him with a worried expression. Then he realized what he was doing. He was sitting in the middle of the hallway screaming and crying in front of Professor Snape’s classroom. Students were gathered around the doorway and Snape was giving his usual cold stare.

“Pott—“ the other student began to say, but Harry glared at them and ran off. He walked up to the Astronomy tower, hoping Ms. Sinistra wasn’t teaching any classes right now. He could go and look for Draco, but what was really the point? He didn’t want to see him right now. He just want to be alone so he could soak in his misery.

Over the next few days, Harry’s friends became increasingly worried about him as he rarely talked to anyone, ate as little as possible to stay alive. He was tired constantly, as if he hadn’t been tired enough already. Everyone was always trying to ask him what was wrong, but he would just ignore them in favor of staring at whatever was in front of him. 

He didn’t really pay attention to what was going on in class or when he, Hermione, and Draco had their study sessions. Anyone who saw those study sessions, probably would have called them brooding sessions as each of them was hiding behind their books and listlessly looking at anything but the words. Draco would flip through the pages aimlessly, Hermione would stare down at the same page for hours, and Harry would try to look anywhere but Draco (usually failing miserably).

Harry never noticed Hermione and Pansy hanging out more often and leaving together, going to strange places, doing things no one should know of. He barely even noticed that she didn’t notice his own misery, too caught up in her own. One day he watched her, after Ron had mentioned to him she seemed off. She was off. Way off. The look in her eyes was almost always one of fear or desperation.

He didn’t go anywhere, didn’t think about Hogsmeade, didn’t think about Quidditch, not even about Katie Bell. To put it short, he was depressed. It was as if he had lost his parents. Oh wait, that had already happened. He had just lost the greatest love of his life. You could say he was a bit bitter.

He didn’t try to talk to Draco; that was pointless. Draco definitely didn’t say a word to him. They ignored each other as best they could. 

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

Harry hadn’t come to the day’s study session, so it was just Draco and Hermione there to mope today. Draco occasionally wrote on his Defence essay, but mostly just stared at the seat where Harry usually sat. He couldn’t say he was happy without Harry, nor could he say he didn’t love him. He most definitely still did. But he wouldn’t give into Harry’s lost puppy stare or his moping about. He had lived without Harry’s love for 16 years now and he was determined to prove he could go 80 more.

Hermione did not look good. She looked absolutely horrible in fact, maybe worse than Harry. Currently she was laid back in her chair staring at the ceiling and twirling her pencil. It was very un-Hermione-like.

“Hermione, are you okay?” He asked, his voiced tinged with concern.

“Have you had a look at yourself recently?” She said lazily, making Draco flinch. She hadn’t moved at all to make the observation, meaning she had already noticed his current state. This was a good sign as it meant that behind this… uh… somber façade she was still her perky and loveable self.

“Well, you know, you and Pansy have been… gone, for increasing amounts of time and Blaise and Theo make me feel like a third wheel, then there’s the thing with Harry…. Simply put, what’s even the point in trying to put effort into things if no one’s ever going to notice anything about you?” He stared down at his lap, fidgeting with the end of his sleeve.

“I noticed,” Hermione said gruffly, making Draco jump a little with her tone.

“Well, that’s—uh, you’re Hermione… you notice everything….”

“Everything, huh? Well, I certainly notice more than you.” He looked up at her and was suddenly a bit afraid. She had this look in her eyes, a look Draco had seen before, but didn’t particularly like. It was one of frustration, on the brink of anger, so bottled up in a tumble of emotions that it was bound to come out much worse than he or any other would like. He was treading in dangerous territory, and he had to step around her cautiously so she wouldn’t explode, but he was pretty sure he’d already hit a pressure plate.  
“Uh, Hermione? I didn’t—I didn’t mean—“ He tried, but there was no escaping her wrath at this point.

“You didn’t mean to? Didn’t mean to what? To break my best friend’s heart? To break your best friend’s heart? Your own damn heart? I swear to god the three of you are all so useless, you can’t figure anything out by yourself. And whenever you mess up, you just come running over to me all ‘Hermione, Hermione, help me! I can’t handle any of my own problems so I’ll just put them all on you!’ 

“And god, I used to love it, I used to thrive in it, hell, I even brought myself into other people’s problems. Used to think ‘oh, I can help everyone! I can do anything! Solve any problem!’ What a fool I was, helping you all. Thinking that helping you would solve anything. No, when I solve one problem, there will always be another, much larger problem behind. You want my help? You want me to fix you? Well, go fix yourself, I’m sure you won’t be able to, but who gives a damn anyway!” She slammed her book shut, got up and marched off in anger.

“WILL YOU SHUT UP!” She yelled at a distraught Madam Pince, who was trying to get her to quiet down. Draco just stared off in her direction in awe, he had never seen her so upset. He grit his teeth and looked back down at his lap. Something was definitely up with her and he was going to dig up his best Harry Potter curiosity and find out what it was. 

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

Harry was very late to the study session. He hadn’t meant to be, but he had got caught up in… himself, really. He just hoped Hermione wasn’t too mad, but with the way she’d been acting lately, he wasn’t sure she would even notice he hadn’t been there. Speaking of Hermione, she was coming straight towards him, very quickly, and very… angrily? What the hell had happened to make her that mad? He thought he might have even seen tears falling down her face. Yep, there was no denying the wetness of her cheeks.

“Hermione! What’s—“ She cut him off with a glare and continued her angry march. That was strange. Well, the only way to figure this out was to find out from what appeared to be the source of her anger. It was time to enter the Lion’s Den, or, well, the Snake’s in this instance.

He hadn’t talked to Draco in weeks, and after having seen Hermione like that, he couldn’t be sure Draco was in a much better mood, but he had to give it a try. He walked in to the Library and sat at his usual spot across from Draco. It appeared as though Draco hadn’t even noticed him at first as he just looked down at his lap, biting his lip in a way that Harry would not admit he thought was cute and fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve.

“Draco,” he started. Said boy jumped and looked at him with what appeared to be fear in his eyes. He stopped biting his lip and brought his hands above the table as he tried to look at the shelf behind Harry. “Look, I know we haven’t said a word to each other in weeks, and this might not be the best time, but could you please explain to me what is wrong with Hermione? She’s my best friend, and I’m really worried about her.”

Draco looked to the chair where Hermione always sat and mumbled something incoherent.

“What?” Harry asked. Draco looked back at him sharply, a sudden look of determination mingling with the fear still tinging his eyes.

“Harry, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More explanation of Harry's situation to come in chapter 17 (currently writing a very special chapter 16). I mean, it's almost exactly the same as it is in the book, just now Draco's fucking everything up too but y'know What can you do? Kid's in love.


	15. Take It in Reverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Down to the Wire (The Wire)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey! We're all caught up w/ ff.net! JUST started writing chapter 16 and that'll be up as well in a couple days so I figured I should catch all y'all up while I'm at it. We are getting down to the last stretch at this point, the story will only have 18 chapters and (possibly) a one-shot epilogue which will kind of make this a series. Just a question before we start: have you ever gotten really, really sad and just done something that you would normally just not do but because you are sad it just kind of happens and you kind of hate yourself but it actually turns out well? That was such a run-on sentence but this is how most of the good shit in my life happens so I may have done a thing.

“Harry, we need to talk.”

“I guess.” He replied nonchalantly, sliding down in his chair. He glanced over to Draco who was now looking at him in outrage.

“About Hermione,” he said with clenched teeth.

“Yeah, she’s been acting pretty weird, hasn’t she?”

“Indeed. But it’s not just her, Pansy has been acting strange as well. And lately they’ve been hanging out together more often.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed?” He said sincerely.

“Either that was sarcasm or Hermione was right on the dot when she said you were the blindest person to ever exist. Of course, you’ve always been like that, blind to everyone’s feelings but your own. Did you ever even notice that the Weasley girl was in love with you?”

“What? Ginny is? What!?”

“Oh, my god. You didn’t even notice! The whole school thought the two of you would end up together! You are such an idiot.”

“Hey, I may be an idiot, but at least I’m willing to give people second chances.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“I believed in you, I gave you a chance to redeem yourself from all the shitty things you’ve done and when it came time for you to give me a second chance and confirm my feelings after you had just fucking rejected me in front of the Defence room you just… again. And you haven’t even talked to me once!”

“I am not doing this. This conversation is not about us. This conversation is about Hermione. But I would much prefer it if we could move somewhere else if you are going to start talking about such things in such a public area.”

“Fine.” He followed Draco out of the library and up to the owlery where instantly a bunch of owls came rushing towards him with letters in their beaks.

“Ugh, more of these stupid interview requests.” Draco groaned angrily, taking a few, ripping them up and throwing them off the side of the tower.

“Don’t owls only come in the morning?”

“Usually, but these come all day every day. Apparently Rita Skeeter really wants to do a column about me and my being disowned.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?” Draco glared at him.

“Not funny, Potter.” He ripped a few more and threw them.

“Well, yeah, if you’re you. But I’m not you, and I’m also kind of pissed at you, so, yeah, it’s funny to me.”

“Ugh, whatever.” He ripped the last of them and dropped them down, this time leaning over the side and watching the small white pieces fall to the ground. “Pansy has been acting strangely all year. Hermione hasn’t, but as soon as she started hanging out with Pany she did as well. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong with the both of them and I need to figure out what.” He looked back over to Harry and he finally saw the worry straining Draco’s face. He was very serious. “Will you help me?”

“Anything for Hermione.” He saw a soft, sad smile grace Draco’s face and though he tried to convince himself that the boy deserved it, he felt sad himself, wanting to rid the boy of all his troubles and bury him in a big hug that could protect him from everything, including himself. “But, uh, how should we start?”

“Well, first we’ll need to stalk them a bit, see where they get off to when they leave together. Then we’ll see if we can find out what exactly they’re doing, but if that doesn’t work I suppose we’ll just have to confront them. Seeing how that kind of wen with Hermione earlier, though, I don’t know if trying to talk to them about it will get us anywhere.”

“We can at least try.”

“Good, then I guess we’re done here.” He started to leave but Harry grabbed his wrist before he could exit the room.

“Wait.”

“Yes, Potter?” He said icily. Harry flinched at such a cold use of his last name.

“Do you really not want to talk about… about us? I really do. I want….” He trailed off, unable to think of what to say next without completely embarrassing himself. Draco turned away from him but stood firmly in his place.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” He looked down and fled slowly down the icy stairs. Harry looked down at his feet, unable to move after having been rejected once again. Maybe he should give up. He really wanted to give up, he had tried many times. But he just couldn’t. There was something inside of him that just kept him from being able to give up. He really hated that part of him.

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

Draco could feel tears flowing down his cheeks. There was a reason he’d avoided talking to Harry for so long, he didn’t think he could handle it and this night proved him right. What had he been thinking? Going and asking Harry to help him figure out what was wrong with Pansy and Hermione. Now he would just have to see him more often. Ergh, sometimes he just couldn’t stand his own stupidity. If Harry was an idiot, then that made Draco twice as big an idiot for still being in love with him.

Why couldn’t he just accept it? He knew now that Harry really did want to be with him and yet he still couldn’t just say ‘ok’ when Harry wanted to talk about them. He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. But he was just so scared, so scared of being rejected. He’d been rejected so many times at this point that it was hard to accept that anyone wanted him. His father, Pansy, everyone at school. Hell, even Hermione had rejected him earlier today. No one wanted him and no one ever would.

He went back to his lonely room, watching the honeymooning Blaise and Theo enveloped in each other, not caring what the outside world thought of them, not noticing any of the painful glares in their direction. Draco noticed them, he wished he had their innocence, to feel as if he had no care in the world but the happiness of another.

Instead he went up to his solitary bed and lay down, shivering. No matter how hard he pulled on the covers he could not make himself less cold. For the first time in over a month he pulled out the pillow Hermione had made for him and held it close to him, wishing it would give him the warmth of an actual person. It didn’t, but he soon fell asleep and all his worries seemed to melt into a dusky darkness.

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

The next morning found Harry glancing constantly over at the Slytherin table to Draco whose eyes were accented by large grey bags. He and Pansy sat next to each other, both with the same amount of weariness on their faces. Looking back at his own table he saw Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus all having a grand time. Ron’s arm, latched around Lavender’s shoulders as they all cheered joyously. He had no intention of joining them despite Neville nervously looking his way.

Instead he stared back at Draco and the Slytherin table, thinking what to do about Hermione and Pansy. Draco suddenly looked up at him and gestured his head to the door. Harry got up excitedly and followed him out, noticing Hermione, Pansy, and Neville’s eyes all trailed on them. He followed him down into the alcove that Draco used to call his own before they stopped moving.

“Look, ok, so I have no idea what I was thinking last night. How are we even supposed to figure out what they’re doing? If we followed them they’d most likely notice us and then we’d have to confront them. I… I really don’t want to do that.”

“You didn’t.”

“What?”

“I was watching you for almost all of October and you didn’t notice.”

“Oh my god, yes I did! I just never said anything because… because ugh, whatever.” He crossed his arms and looked down at the floor solemnly. They stood together in awkward silence for a while until Harry’d had enough

“Look, ok, maybe you did, but I was just. Well, I don’t know why I was actually actively following you; that was stupid. I have this map that shows where everyone in the school is. We can track them that way so they won’t notice us.”

“You… have a map... that shows you where everyone in the school is? Why am I not surprised. I’d like to see it if you don’t mind. Confirm that it exists.”

“All right, sure. It’s in my room though.” He explained, hoping it would stop Draco from wanting to go.

“It’s all right, it’s Saturday and I have all the time in the world.”

“Fine, there shouldn’t be anyone to see us go in since its still breakfast.”

“Good then.” They went up to Gryffindor Tower, with only minimum trouble from the fat lady. Draco stared around the common room in awe but didn’t say a thing. Harry watched him with secret glee, loving the cute look he had as he gazed around his eyes wide and his mouth just slightly open.

“Ready to go up?” He asked with a playful grin. Draco gave him a joking glare and followed him up the stairs to the dorms.

When upstairs, Draco plopped himself on Harry’s bed and watched as Harry shuffled through his bedside table. He looked up at him quickly and noticed the look on his face was full of longing as he looked at Harry. The thought made Harry blush and look back down, hoping Draco was too pre-occupied with his own thoughts to notice.

He got the map and Draco moved so he could sit next to him on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He got up and Draco moved to put a silencing spell around the bed and closed both curtains. Harry gave him an odd look.

“I don’t want people to know I was here, do you?” He looked down and blushed, seeing as his mind had immediately gone to such a different topic. He put his wand to the center of the map, said the keywords and it began to spread across their laps. He smiled as Draco stared at it just like he had the common room. He seemed to be showing his emotions more openly than normal for some reason. He supposed it might be because of loneliness or depression but he didn’t know enough about those things to say.

They looked around it, Harry showing Draco people on the map and looking for Pansy and Hermione, who were still both at breakfast. He eventually felt Draco snuggle in closer to him and lean his head on Harry’s shoulder. 

“It’s such a cool map,” he said tiredly.

“It is, isn’t it? My dad and his friends made it when they were in school.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they were always getting into trouble.”

“That sounds nice. All my dad did in school was study and be an asshole.” He gave a short laugh as Draco turned his face into Harry’s shoulder and felt a small smile on his lips. After that they sat in silence for a little bit and Harry wondered if Draco had gone to sleep, he sure did seem tired if he was willing to let himself be this open with him. He had missed such closeness with the other boy and felt himself getting a bit sleepy too, as soon as his eyes started drooping, however, Draco said something that would make sure he wouldn’t go to sleep.

“Harry, I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Being alone.”

“I’m here.” Draco quickly turned his head to face outwards and clicked his teeth.

“Yeah, but for how long?”

“As long as you want me to be.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why not?”

“Everyone else has left, why shouldn’t you?”

“Because I love you.”

“Yeah? So did Pansy.”

“I’m sure whatever Pansy’s doing she’s doing it because she still loves you too. I don’t think she’s left you.”

“Then why doesn’t she ever talk to me? Why don’t you ever talk to me?”

“Well, I don’t know about her but I only didn’t talk to you because I was too afraid to. I was afraid you’d reject me.”

“I guess. But I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“And I still love you.”

“I still love you too.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Prove it.”

“What? Are you going to make me do all those tests Hermione had you do at the beginning of the year?” Draco looked back at him and smiled deviously.

“Maybe.”

“Oh, god, no.” Draco smirked as if holding back a lifetime of laughter.

“Just kidding! For right now, however, I’m going to use your body as a pillow. You’re not very soft, but you’re quite warm.” He slipped down into a good sleeping position, holding tight to his waist. Harry, not tired, reached below his bed and grabbed his homework.

They stayed like that for a couple hours until Draco suddenly jerked up and scrambled to get away from him. He jumped a bit at the sudden movement and dropped his homework on the ground. 

“Everything all right in there?” He heard Ron ask from outside. He motioned for Draco to release the silencing charm and be quiet. He didn’t need to be told twice.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just fell asleep on my Potions essay.” He heard Ron snort and leave the room.

“What the fuck am I doing in here, Potter?” Draco hissed as soon as he was sure there was no one else in the room.

“What, don’t tell me you got drunk and don’t remember anything about you coming up to see the Map or falling asleep on me twice?” He said teasingly.

“Ugh, Harry, it was only once. That first time I was not asleep. And no I was not drunk. I was just…very, very tired.”

“I thought it was pretty cute.” Draco blushed and turned away.

“Did I ask for your opinion? Now, I want you to forget everything that I said earlier and go back to how we were before.”

“No.” Draco looked back at him, outraged.

“No!? Potter, this is not something you can just—“

“I said no. I’m not going to forget this. I’m going to remember that you said you love me and I will prove to you that I love you too. I won’t abandon you.” He looked at Draco, whose face had gone a bit slack, fiercely and hoped he had gotten his point across.

“Harry, I’m not—“

“Don’t. Don’t say you’re not anything, you are everything. You’re the one who’s gotten me through this hellish year. Those evening lessons with Dumbledore, losing Hermione, everyone looking at me as if I’m about to die, and knowing, somewhere deep inside, that I probably will. I couldn’t keep doing this without you.” Draco was staring at him in awe and he knew he had hit something deep with in him. He brought Draco’s face to his own and kissed him roughly. Draco continued the kiss and when Harry pulled away he tried to move back in. When he realized the other was moving away, he pulled back ashamedly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t know it was so hard for you. And-and all I’ve been doing is thinking about my own stupid problems. I’m sorry.” He looked down and started wringing his hands nervously. Harry brought a hand to his cheek and held it.

“You don’t need to be sorry. I will prove to you that I’m worthy of you. I’ll show you, and the rest of the world that I love you and that I always will.”

“The whole world! Now, that might be a bit much. Let’s start off with just us.”

“Sure, then how do I do it?”

“I don’t know,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “Figure it out yourself. I’m sure you can, if you love me as much as you say you do.” Draco smirked at him.

“Yeah, right.” He smirked back and rolled his eyes. There was a moment of silence before they both burst out laughing. They laughed and laughed for a while until they were tired and Harry leaned against Draco’s shoulder. They sat together, catching their breaths, relishing in the aftermath of a good laugh.

“It’s true, though,” Draco began somberly, “I really don’t know when I’ll be able to trust you completely, or even if I’ll be able to.”

“That’s fine, just as long as you let me stay by your side.” Draco blushed and smiled at him, a thing which he was beginning to adore more and more.

“For now can we just go back to being friends? I know, I know I was the one who said I wanted a romantic relationship with you first, but I think we should just let it up for the moment. I miss being around you, but I don’t know… I’m so unsure of myself now.”

“Okay, just as long as you’ll consider me.”

“Yes, but I am serious about the proving yourself thing. Only friends until then.” Draco said sternly, poking his chest. “That means no kissing, no holding hands, and most definitely no more sitting in each other’s beds!”

Draco pushed himself off the bed and into the light of the dormitory.

“Do you want to be seen so badly?” Harry joked, getting off the bed.

“Oh, come off it! I know you have some kind of invisibility cloak! I’ve been watching you long enough to know at least that!” Harry quietly chuckled but dug in his bedside table until he pulled the cloak out. “Good, now let’s go do some Pansy hunting!”

“And Hermione.”

“And Hermione. But do you really believe she would be in such a state if not for Pansy dearest?”

“Probably not.”

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

He sneaked out of the Gryffindor common room, almost facing discovery just once when the Weasley girl came up to talk to Harry. He could see pain in her eyes that he doubted Harry noticed when he talked to her and he kind of pitied her. He did understand how she felt, loving someone that did not love her back, but he supposed she was much stronger than him, to be able to watch from afar without falling completely defenseless as he had. She made him look weak, pathetic. And to think, he had everything she wanted right in his grasp but he didn’t just go for it. He was truly a terrible person.

They walked to a small, quiet hall way before Draco took the invisibility cloak off. From there they sat on the floor and placed the map in front of them. Searching for Pansy and Hermione, they found them stood somewhere on the seventh floor. They stood there for a bit until Pansy left Hermione to pace in front of the wall beside them. Then, to Draco’s utter surprise they seemed to walk right into the wall, completely disappearing from the map.

“What the—“ He started, looking at Harry, who didn’t seem as befuddled as he was anxious. “What’s wrong? What happened to them? Do you know?”

“Yeah,” he sighed and started packing away the map. “I know where they are, but we can’t get in while they’re in there.”

“What?”

“It’s the Room of Requirement. As I remember, last year you tried to chase me in there quite a few times.”

“Maybe….” Draco said timidly, biting his lip as he remembered that stupid squad thing he was on last year. Looking at Harry chuckle at his nervousness it felt so long ago.  
“Well, as you should know, you can’t get in after the doors have closed. I don’t know why it doesn’t show on the map, though. Probably something to do with the magic of the room, or maybe they just never found it? Who knows. They could be doing anything in that room.”

“Anything?” He smirked suggestively and Harry looked at him in shock.

“You think they’re… you know….” Harry asked quietly, a blush spreading across his cheeks. Draco laughed at him, that shy look was just too adorable for his own good.  
“Oh my god, Harry, you are such a blushing little virgin. You can say it, you know. Do I think they’re having sex? Possibly. It makes sense if you think about it. Pansy would want to hide it because she doesn’t want to end up with the same fate as me. Hermione would grow weary of hiding her relationship pretty quickly. Or maybe Pansy is saying they’re just fuck buddies while Hermione feel something more. It seems the most plausible reason. I think unless we come by evidence that suggests otherwise we should just assume it’s this. Maybe you can ask her about it or something. I definitely won’t be asking Pansy, though, that would just be awkward.”

“Are all wizards that homophobic?” Harry asked quietly, looking down at his feet. Draco looked at him worriedly.

“I don’t think so. In fact, Pansy’s parents would be more concerned that she’s dating a muggleborn than the fact that said muggleborn is a girl. My parents are different, I suppose. They, or, well, mostly my father, taught me that homosexuality was an awful terrible thing but when I came here, when I realized I was gay, and when I saw two of my closest friends being so openly accepted in their relationship I started thinking differently. Experience changes a man, I suppose.”

He smiled kindly at Harry who was staring back nervously. Harry gave small smile in return and began to stand up. He offered Draco a hand in return and he graciously accepted it, brushing the dust off his clothes when he was stood up. Harry came in close to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Surprised, Draco brought a hand to his cheek and felt where Harry’s lips had just been as the boy walked away with a cheeky smile on his face.

He softly smiled to himself, cradling his cheek in his hand.

ABBAABBAABBAABBAABBA

Walking back to the common room he ran into Ginny. They were just going to pass with a quick wave, but Ginny stopped him, asking if they could talk. He agreed and followed her to an abandoned classroom.

“What’s up?” he asked, worried as Ginny turned away from him.

“I—I have something to say. I don’t care, I can’t take it anymore. I don’t care if you reciprocate my feelings or not. I know you don’t, but I’ve just got to say it!” She turned back to him, a melancholy smile on her face and the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “Harry, I love you.”

He stared at her, awestruck for just a second before coming to his senses. He remembered Draco saying something about this earlier, but he hadn’t really thought it would be true. Now faced with this truth, he had no idea how to handle it.

“Ginny, I—“

“I know. I know you love Mal—Draco. I don’t understand why or how it happened, but I’m ok with it. I’m all right, really.”

“Ginny—“

“And I know you two have been fighting for some reason these past few weeks. I don’t understand why, I don’t understand anything, really, but I want to do whatever I can to help. I want you to be happy, and if that means you’re with Draco, that’s fine with me.” She flashed him a sly smile, her usual mischievous face reappearing. He smiled at her.

“Ginny—“

“But if he ever hurts you, I swear to god—“

“Ginny!” This time he interrupted her, a shocked look coming over her face. “Please, can I get one word in? Geez, look, Ginny, I’m sorry. You’re right, I do love Draco. I’m sorry it couldn’t have been you. You’re a wonderful, amazing, beautiful girl. It’s just… a lot happened and then we just kind of… I don’t know. I’m not even sure we’re a thing! I mean we were definitely going to be but then I messed up and…”

“How’d you mess up?” Ginny asked eagerly. He looked at her warily, unaware if her eagerness was toward the distress in their relationship or helping to fix it.

“Uh, well, I kind of ignored him for a couple weeks after he told me he loved me and then I said I would think about it and ugh I just… messed up. Big time.”

“Wow. Yeah. That is pretty major. If you’d left me feeling stranded like that I would have hexed you. You should just be thankful he seems to be a kinder person than me.”

“I don’t think it was that… I just think that he’d already been stepped on so much this year, he was already prepared for rejection from me so he just kind of shut me out. Today he gave me another shot, but I’m not sure I deserve it.”

“Maybe you don’t,” Ginny said and Harry’s deepest were confirmed. He hung his head in shame. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to prove that you do. Even if the whole world is against you, you still gotta fight against it. That’s what the Golden Boy’s supposed to do, isn’t it?” She smirked at him and he had a passing thought to go over and kiss her but that might be inappropriate at the moment.

“Ginny, have I ever told you you’re amazing?”

“Yeah, just a few minutes ago.” She laughed at him, her bright smile filling his heart with hope.

“Just… one more thing.”

“Yeah?” She asked as she sat down on a desk.

“In the wizarding world, is it okay to be, y’know…”

“Gay? Hell yeah, it’s fine. Who cares!” She waved her hands in the air enthusiastically. “Besides some pretentious purebloods that is. I don’t know what it’s like in the muggle world either, but here we’re all okay with it. Long as you’re happy being you.” 

“Thanks, I really needed that. You know, I really didn’t mean to ignore him like that. I was really busy with Quidditch and Dumbledore and Voldemort and all that. I think I was also kind of scared of myself too. I mean, they don’t think too well of gay people in the muggle world and Draco’s being disowned because of it… I kind of just assumed this world was the same way.”

“Nah, that’s just the Malfoy family. If you ask me, that Lucius is a bit screwed in the head.” She said, circling her finger around her left temple. Harry laughed and they went into a pleasant conversation. Around four they went back to the common room, laughing and joking the whole way. When she left him to join her other friends she kissed his cheek goodbye. 

Dean and Seamus whistled but Ginny quieted them with a glare and Harry explained… most of it to them. That they weren’t together and they never would be. Seamus joked that he might ask her out but Harry glared at him, threatening that if he ever thought to ask her out as a joke he would have to go through both Ron and him. Neville squeaked in that he would defend her as well but Seamus quickly backed down, saying it was a joke. Dean elbowed him, saying it was a joke that could probably get him hexed by not just them but Ginny as well. Probably the worst from Ginny.

That night, however, all the joking of the day had gone away very quickly. Ron had first eaten candies filled with a love potion meant for Harry and then when they had gone to Professor Slughorn to get an antidote he had been poisoned by mead meant for Dumbledore. When he had told Hermione about the incident she seemed flustered. She didn’t go and see him, she ran away, muttering something about Pansy so quietly that he just barely caught the name.

The next day he met up with Draco in the same place he had the day before.

“It’s not a relationship they’re hiding. It’s something more. Something much, much more dangerous.” He said, watching fear and doubt roll into Draco’s eyes. He wished he could cover it up and let them see nothing but light for the rest of eternity but that was impossible. Stupid and impossible. They would find out what was going on, and they would do it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is from Hermione's perspective and will feature the "great reveal" of what has been going down. This chapter was much longer than I expected, really, but I think it's all right. I'm a big Ginny fan, but I prefer her as a lith/aro character and you'll see more of her being that next chap I think, or the next one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


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